(VMN)Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often believed that environmental pollution and housing are major
problems
that the government
should invest in to reduce illness and disease. I partially agree with this
, for an accelerating level of pollutants as well as
crowded buildings make illness more widespread and serious regardless of the fact that the medical advancement of technology should rather be focused on promoting public health.
On the one hand, the growing environmental destruction and housing problems
should be tackled by the government
since they seriously affect the well-being of people
. In other words
, the damage has already reached a point beyond the control of humans, as illness spreads faster and poses more severe effects. For example
, the increasing level of CO2 and harmful chemicals such
as nitrogen emitted from transports and factories causes more breathing problems
, especially for seniors and children. Thus
, the government
should concentrate on this
issue since it is also
aggravated by the congestion of housing, which allows the spread of infectious diseases
faster, preventing people
from having a healthy life.
On the other hand
, progress in medical fields should be encouraged to reduce health problems
for people
because of their direct impact on healing pains and other symptoms. Indeed, medicines are created to kill a certain virus which is the very cause of severe headaches and continuous coughs, making people
suffer for prolonged periods of time. To illustrate this
, a pill called Megicon is known to be highly effective in ameliorating coughs and fever, which allows people
to control various symptoms. Therefore
, the government
should invest more in medical treatment so people
can recover from serious diseases
more easily than other methods.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that governments should first solve environmental and housing issues as diseases
spread faster and people
show harsher symptoms. However
, medical advancement is significant for people
to control diseases
more effortlessly.Submitted by mizuho on
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task achievement
Your response is clear and comprehensive, addressing the task prompt effectively. However, you could improve by providing more specific examples and elaborating on certain points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is solid, with a clear progression of ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that transitions are smooth for even better flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear outline of your stance and summarizing your points effectively.
task achievement
The essay covers both aspects of the question, balancing your partial agreement and supporting your ideas with relevant examples.
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