Some countries encourage foreign companies to open a branch office in their country. Many people think that the government should focus on encouraging local businesses to expand rather than inviting foreign businesses to open branches. To what extent do you agree?

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It is believed by many that foreign

companies

should be encouraged in some countries,

while

others claim that regional

companies

need to pay attention to improvements by the government rather than the development of foreign

businesses

. I completely agree with

this

opinion, and I think that encouraging local

businesses

is much more advantageous than opening some foreign business centres. Despite the fact that the increasing openness of foreign

companies

has become more common among countries, encouraging local

companies

is preferable.

This

is because the encouragement of regional

companies

has some beneficial options for the country and its population. First of all, nowadays, being unemployed is more and more common among the majority of individuals in the world. If local

businesses

develop and the government gives opportunities to improve local

businesses

, joblessness can be reduced.

Moreover

, plenty of local people will be provided with a new occupation.

For example

, if one company is open, millions of individuals can be employed.

In addition

, it will prevent folk from going to other countries for the purpose of working.

Secondly

, improvements in both the national and local economies and local infrastructure are boosted. The profits of the national

companies

contribute to increasing the country’s finances.

For instance

, nationally manufactured products can be exported around the world.

Furthermore

, certain changes happen in the local community, and their lives are improved. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that some people consider that foreign

businesses

should be opened, from my perspective, encouraging regional

companies

is more useful for reducing unemployment and improving the economy.

Submitted by tsarfraz170 on Sat Sep 28 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding on specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly. For instance, you could mention particular countries or companies that have benefited from government support, or provide data on employment rates influenced by local business development.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to have smooth transitions between paragraphs and within ideas. For example,

task achievement

Ensure all points discussed are well-rounded and thoroughly explored. This means not just stating an idea, but analyzing it and considering potential counterarguments or limitations to your proposal.

task achievement

The essay articulates a clear position on the topic and maintains it throughout, which is commendable. Your agreement is expressed unambiguously, and the introduction sets the stage well while the conclusion reinforces your stance effectively.

coherence cohesion

Good logical structure overall: the essay progresses in a manner that is easy to follow, with each paragraph addressing distinct points in support of the main argument.

coherence cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument. The introduction clearly presents the issue and your stance, while the conclusion succinctly sums up your argument, making your position unmistakably clear.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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