Successful sport professionals earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

One of the most controversial topics today relates to whether it is fair for
athletes
to be paid more than other essential
workers
or not.
While
some individuals claim that it is acceptable,
others
oppose it. In
this
essay, I elaborate on both views and describe my standpoint. On one side of the argument, there are some people who argue that it is reasonable that
athletes
earn more money than other vital
workers
. The primary reason for
this
is that they often contribute to
society
by donating money or participating in charities. As they are public figures, they can draw more public attention to social problems and raise more donations than
others
.
Additionally
, they play as role models. Since they behave as emulations in public and bring positive impacts on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
, they deserve high
earnings
even if
hey
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
gain more
earnings
than other imperative
workers
.
On the other hand
,
others
diagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
with the phenomenon
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
athletes
make more income than other indispensable occupations.
That is
mainly because their direct contribution to the
society
is lower than
others
. If more money is paid to essential
workers
such
as healthcare
workers
and teachers
instead
of sports players, they would be more motivated, and
consequently
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
would receive more benefits. Another justification is that not all
athletes
display discipline in public.
Thus
,
although
they make excessive
earnings
, they sometimes influence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
negatively, which means that their
earnings
are not correlated with their social contributions. In conclusion, both views are rational. On balance,
however
, I am inclined to advocate the perspective that they are worth receiving huge income because of their social roles. As their abilities are absolutely attractive, they are able to draw attention with their remarks or appearance, solving global issues, which cannot be achieved by other professions.
Submitted by takuya13sugimoto on

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task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you consistently use proper grammar and spelling. Though minor errors are understandable, reducing them will improve the clarity of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Aim to maintain a balanced discussion by giving equal weight to both sides of the argument. This will demonstrate strong analytical skills.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which aids in creating a coherent argument.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both views, providing reasoning for each side which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your main points are generally well-supported which demonstrates good critical thinking skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exceptional talent
  • dedication
  • entertainment value
  • revenue
  • ticket sales
  • advertisements
  • sponsorships
  • short-lived career
  • physical and mental challenges
  • compensation
  • limited career span
  • health risks
  • financial rewards
  • disproportionate emphasis
  • intellectual contributions
  • social contributions
  • undervaluing
  • societal perception
  • income distribution
  • valuable
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