Successful sport professionals earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion
One of the most controversial topics today relates to whether it is fair for
athletes
to be paid more than other essential workers
or not. While
some individuals claim that it is acceptable, others
oppose it. In this
essay, I elaborate on both views and describe my standpoint.
On one side of the argument, there are some people who argue that it is reasonable that athletes
earn more money than other vital workers
. The primary reason for this
is that they often contribute to society
by donating money or participating in charities. As they are public figures, they can draw more public attention to social problems and raise more donations than others
. Additionally
, they play as role models. Since they behave as emulations in public and bring positive impacts on the
Correct article usage
apply
society
, they deserve high earnings
even if hey
gain more Correct your spelling
they
earnings
than other imperative workers
.
On the other hand
, others
diagree
with the phenomenon Correct your spelling
disagree
where
Correct word choice
that
athletes
make more income than other indispensable occupations. That is
mainly because their direct contribution to the society
is lower than others
. If more money is paid to essential workers
such
as healthcare workers
and teachers instead
of sports players, they would be more motivated, and consequently
, the
Correct article usage
apply
society
would receive more benefits. Another justification is that not all athletes
display discipline in public. Thus
, although
they make excessive earnings
, they sometimes influence the
Correct article usage
apply
society
negatively, which means that their earnings
are not correlated with their social contributions.
In conclusion, both views are rational. On balance, however
, I am inclined to advocate the perspective that they are worth receiving huge income because of their social roles. As their abilities are absolutely attractive, they are able to draw attention with their remarks or appearance, solving global issues, which cannot be achieved by other professions.Submitted by takuya13sugimoto on
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task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you consistently use proper grammar and spelling. Though minor errors are understandable, reducing them will improve the clarity of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Aim to maintain a balanced discussion by giving equal weight to both sides of the argument. This will demonstrate strong analytical skills.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which aids in creating a coherent argument.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both views, providing reasoning for each side which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your main points are generally well-supported which demonstrates good critical thinking skills.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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