IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some individuals suggest that the key to healthy lifestyle is following a strict diet and exercise regimen, while others believe that maintaining a balanced approach and listening to one's body is more important. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

There are various opinions on the best way to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Some people believe that strict diets and intense workout routines are essential,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that it is more important to listen to one’s body and adopt a balanced approach. In my view,
although
Linking Words
 discipline can produce visible physical results, a flexible and intuitive method allows individuals to stay healthy without compromising their mental well-being. People who follow a strict regime tend to believe that it is the only effective way to achieve their physical goals.
For example
Linking Words
, bodybuilders, personal trainers, and fitness enthusiasts often dedicate several hours a day to working out and prefer preparing meals at home to ensure they meet their dietary requirements, particularly regarding protein intake.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 level of control often comes at the expense of social enjoyment and personal satisfaction. Over time, the routine may turn into an obligation rather than a source of pleasure, leading to burnout or disordered habits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many believe that paying attention to the body’s signals and maintaining flexibility in diet and exercise leads to a healthier and more sustainable lifestyle. In 2023, the World Health Organization published a study warning that excessive focus on physical activity can become obsessive and even harmful.
For instance
Linking Words
, it found that 55% of teenage girls had lost their menstrual cycle
due to
Linking Words
 physical overexertion.
This
Linking Words
 suggests that rigid routines,
although
Linking Words
 physically effective, may result in unintended physical and psychological consequences. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 strict discipline can help people achieve their health and fitness goals, it may
also
Linking Words
 lead to imbalance and stress. By adopting a more moderate and intuitive approach, individuals can maintain both their physical health and emotional well-being in the long term.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the rhythm and flow of your essay. This can keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly present your opinion in the introduction and reaffirm it in the conclusion for a stronger position.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, effectively showcasing different perspectives on maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples, such as the statistics from the WHO study, strengthens your argument and provides clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: