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Band 6

Junk/Street Food is the most affordable meal for the working class. But health problems due to rampant and uncontrolled consumption are being compounded. It has therefore become imperative for governments to impose a higher tax on them. To what extent do you agree to this arrangement by the government? Give your opinion.

#junk #street #food #class #health #consumption #governments #tax #arrangement #government
Fast
food
 is the most popular nutrition for workers. If addictive eating causes health, the governments establish high
taxes
 on junk
food
 distribution to curb the unlimited and unwise
consumption
 of 'junk
food
' . I agree with
this
 idea because: big duty regulates the irrational demand for
such
 kind of
food
,
also
 a country uses money from increasing tax rates to cure victims of 'Street
Food
'
consumption
. Generally, the government controls the demand
due to
 its bad influence on the health of its citizens by increasing duties.
This
 method can reduce the negative consequences of irresponsible human behaviour in their country.
Thus
, changed
taxes
 will raise the price of fast
food
, leading consumers to purchase it more wisely.
For example
, the same case was observed in the U.S.A., State of Texas in 1990,
according to
 the changing tax rate Big Mac (fast
food
 bestseller) price became 0.5$ higher.
As a result
, the authorities stopped the growth of unwise fast
food
consumption
. Unfortunately, another problem appeared, restaurants started to make burgers smaller and sell them at old costs. Despite
this
, I strongly believe that
such
 a measure takes place to limit unreasonable
consumption
 .
Additionally
, the money taken from Fast
Food
's
taxes
 should be invested in medical services.
Thus
, healing for people who were hurt by eating Street cuisine will cost less.
For example
, the medical insurance cost is over 600000 KZT in Kazakhstan. Reinvesting
taxes
 accepted from fast
food
 distribution would decrease the insurance average price to 400000 KZT, says the chief specialist of Social Issues, Mr Koshkinbaev M.
According to
 his words labourers can buy their medical insurance 200 thousand cheaper to cure addiction. Unfortunately, there is a bad side to
such
 measures, it is increasing other grocery's prices, which lead to inflation cases, I believe that
this
 method should be strictly regulated by competent authorities. In conclusion, I believe that the irrational demand tendency should be regulated by the changes in charges,
while
 the extra benefit, earned by the country by accepting the extra tax, should be given to heal people hurt by fast
food
.
Submitted by interclass1982 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding your introduction to provide more context and clarity on the issue at hand.
task achievement
Ensure all your points are supported with specific, relevant examples. For instance, the example from the U.S. is good but could be more detailed.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be clearer and more concise. Revise to avoid overly complex or awkwardly structured sentences.
task achievement
You presented a clear stance on the issue and provided valid reasons for your position.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively framed the essay, providing a clear opening and a strong closing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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