IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that a person's intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that their environment is the main factor. Discuss both views. Which factor do you think is mostly responsible for intelligence.

#people #person #intelligence #parents #environment #factor
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it argued if
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a person
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person
Change noun form
person's
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 intelligence is
hereditery
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hereditary
heredity
 from their family or the
curicmstances facotrs
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circumstances factors
plays
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play
show examples
 the main role.In my opinion , I
belive
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believe
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 that both show
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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impaction
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impact
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in
Change preposition
on
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 personal IQ
level
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 .
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
veiws
Correct your spelling
views
 and emphases on
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 factors
contribute
Correct pronoun usage
that contribute
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 to intelligence.
To begin
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 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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genetic structure plays a significant
roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
role
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 in
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Correct article usage
a person
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person
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person's
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intelligent
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intelligence
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level
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.
Moreover
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, the ability of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the humans
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humans
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human
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 mind to
understant
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understand
 and withstand some academic
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
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 are different from
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person
Correct pronoun usage
one person
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 to
others
Correct quantifier usage
another
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.
However
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, the
mind
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mind's
show examples
 capacity to accept new information and memorise them are different.
Therefore
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, the intelligent mentality might be
inhereted
Correct your spelling
inherited
 from our offspring.
In addition
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, some specific
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
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 are
innet
Correct your spelling
innate
in net
 and come with less
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humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
 effort.
Whereas
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 they do much effort to
Correct your spelling
perform
performe
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perform
this
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 capability,
On the other hand
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, the
atmospher aroud
Correct your spelling
atmosphere around
 people have a huge impact
in
Change preposition
on
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Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a person
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person
Change noun form
person's
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 IQ
level
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,
Furthermore
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, people
whos
Correct your spelling
who
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are expressing
Wrong verb form
express
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 destructive
comment
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comments
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 and discourage
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 are highly affected to be less intelligent .
However
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive environment plays a significant role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 mental
devolep
Correct your spelling
development
.A recent study in the UK
provide
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provides
show examples
 information about how the environment can affect
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humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
 abilities.
In addition
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, there
is
Verb problem
apply
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a several habits considered to
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Correct article usage
a person
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person
Change noun form
person's
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 smartness
level
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.
Nevertheless
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, people who learning new information must be more patient and
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
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.
However
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, the
commitence
Correct your spelling
commitment
committee
 and
consistence
Correct your spelling
consistency
show examples
 are mandatory to any
succeseful
Correct your spelling
successful
 personality.
To conclude
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Use synonyms
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
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 might be inherited from family.
However
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,
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Correct article usage
the humans
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humans
Change the noun form
human
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 environment
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 an essential role in the smartness
level
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, we must
focuesed
Correct your spelling
focus
focused
 on the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 factors
contribute
Correct pronoun usage
that contribute
show examples
 to
high
Correct article usage
the high
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mentality
Replace the word
mental
show examples
level
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clear and logical structure in your essay by breaking it down into well-defined paragraphs with distinct ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve your introduction and conclusion by providing a clearer preview and summary of your main points.
supported main points
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence, which will help to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task, including a more comprehensive discussion of both views and a clearer personal opinion.
task achievement
You have made a clear attempt to discuss both genetic and environmental factors contributing to intelligence, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your essay effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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