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Band 8

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outways disadvantages in family developement.

#people #country #work #outways #developement
Nowadays there is an ongoing debate about the advantages and disadvantages of people travelling overseas with their family to work.
This
 essay will delve
further
 into
this
 issue and clearly delineate that certainly there are more advantages rather than disadvantages if people move away from their country of origin to work abroad. First and foremost, migrating to another country is essential for one’s career advancement.
Consequently
, they will be able to secure better job opportunities and obtain a higher income.
Hence
this
 will in turn upgrade their economic status and
further
 improve their standard of living.
Additionally
, education opportunities for their children can be expanded. Children might have access to a broader range of extracurricular activities and better education systems compared to their home countries.
Next,
moving to a foreign country can strengthen the familial bond as family members rely on each other for support and stability in a new environment. Communication and interactions among family members may be enhanced through constructive problem-solving and regular discussions.
On the other hand
, it is important to consider the setbacks of families living abroad. Adjusting to a new culture can be stressful and might lead to social isolation or difficulties in making friends.
Furthermore
, disruption in educational environments can impact children’s academic performance and affect social development if not managed well.
To conclude
, families who live abroad can potentially elevate their career and economic status and foster a positive impact on their children's education opportunities.
Although
 the expected drawbacks include social isolation and academic disruption,
this
 can be minimized through continuous emotional support from family members and effective individual coping skills.
Submitted by nabilahabdmalek3452 on

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relevant specific examples
Try to include more specific examples or real-life scenarios to strengthen your arguments. This will make your points more relatable and tangible for the reader.
clear comprehensive ideas
Avoid using the word 'delineate' in this context. Instead, you can use a simpler phrase like 'explore' or 'examine'. Simplifying language at times can make the essay more accessible.
complete response
You effectively mentioned both the benefits such as career advancement and challenges like cultural adjustment, offering a balanced view on the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points discussed and offers a final judgement, which is a sign of strong writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bilingualism
  • Cultural immersion
  • Economic opportunities
  • Familial bonds
  • Language acquisition
  • Multilingual
  • Professional growth
  • Social isolation
  • Social status
  • Standard of living
What to do next:
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