A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/ unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter: * explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum * describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful * give details of when you would be available for work

#museum #home #people #work #director #skills #qualities

Dear Sir or Madam, I writing

this

letter to you because I found in our local shop your advertisement for a voluntary job

such

as security or waiter. My name is Kim and I cover the local community and protect businesses in our suburb.

Due to

this

situation, I would like to support

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and help to solve

this

problem.

Furthermore

, I am definitely able to help you for free, because my family and I visit museums several times during the year.

Additionally

, in my past experience, I worked during the night and it was not a problem for me to take part in an overnight job.

For example

, if I take a security job through the night it might reduce pressure on you. At

this

moment I work in my main employment from Monday to Thursday, the best option for me

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Ican

Correct your spelling

I can

start work on Friday night and till Sunday morning.

This

is what I can provide to you at the moment. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Kim

Submitted by vladislavikonnikov112 on Mon Jul 15 2024

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task achievement

To improve the task response, be more specific about your interest in the museum itself, rather than focusing mainly on your availability and past job experiences.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a single clear idea to improve clarity and coherence. Try to avoid mixing multiple points within the same paragraph.

greeting and closing

You have used an appropriate greeting and closing, which adds to the formal tone of the letter.

task achievement

You mentioned your availability clearly and provided specific days and times you could work, which is very helpful.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

175 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Enthusiastic
Volunteer
Part-time
Unpaid work
Museum director
Skills and qualities
Customer service
Organization
Team player
Flexible
Reliable
Positive attitude
Availability
Professional goals
Community contribution
References

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