Nowadays, many people are likely to over use internet and some of them even become addicted to it. What are reason for this? What problem can be cause by internet over use?
In recent years. Many
people
are prone to overusing the internet
. and some of the people
become addicted to it. This
essay will discuss the primary problems and the causes of this
issue.
It is obvious that interest has become the most important thing in our lives. And we depend on it for our basic needs. We connect with each other through social media. Also
, most of our jobs and studies need the internet
. For example
, if you were a student at Yale University, you would be required to do research. Therefore
, you will use the internet
to access the information you need. Moreover
, you can read news
or watch movies for entertainment. Add an article
the news
Hence
, the net is fundamental in our daily routine.
However
, some people
are most likely to become addicted to their devices. Because they want to ignore reality and escape to the virtual world. And that can have many effects on the individual. It can cause isolation and depression. Also
, it can damage your physical health. For sitting too much. It can cause obesity. Furthermore
, it can affect society as a whole. And divide society. For instance
, a study had been conducted in Japan 10 years ago. About how much the internet
has changed people
's mental health. And it showed that 72% of people
suffered from anxiety due to
overusing the net.
In conclusion, the internet
is crucial in our lives. But
it is a major issue that can impact Correct word choice
However
people
's health in many ways. Such
as addiction or physical illness like obesitySubmitted by reem.rz112 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider expanding your explanations and examples. This will provide a more comprehensive understanding of the points you are making. For instance, when you mention students using the internet for research, you could further elaborate on how this might lead to overuse.
coherence cohesion
Improve the clarity of your essay by ensuring the sentences are well-structured and thoughts are clearly expressed. Re-examine sentences like "However, some people are most likely to become addicted to their devices. Because they want to ignore reality..." for smoother readability.
task achievement
Incorporate more concrete examples or statistical evidence to support your arguments. This will add depth to your points regarding internet addiction and its consequences.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a nice frame for your discussion.
task achievement
You have identified relevant reasons for internet addiction and its potential problems, showcasing an understanding of the topic.