"According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average 'holiday' is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want excitement on their holidays and are keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. Do you agree or disagree?"
Some professionals in the travel industry argue that, in the past, a typical
holiday
would more likely be centered
around quiet rest and relaxation, Change the spelling
centred
whereas
now, an increasing portion of people
prefer to organize their vacations around thrilling activities. Whilst it may be true that some prefer this
kind of holiday
, it cannot be denied that most people
prefer to utilize their vacation time to relax and recover, and do not prefer to take safety risks during their holidays
.
Firstly
, most people
nowadays spend a
majority of their waking hours at Correct article usage
the
work
. And, because of the compulsory nature of work
, it is expected that, regardless of one's profession, a level of fatigue would cumulate with time. As a result
of this
, now and in the past, people
have preferred to use their vacation time to rest and re-energize. For instance
, people
who work
in some of the largest industries, like construction and manufacturing, often complain about how tiring their work
is, and how much they look forward to their holidays
so they can get their energy back. Considering this
, it is clear that
the same reasons that have made people
utilize their holidays
for recovery still stand in today's world.
Furthermore
, a majority of people
are put off by these events and excursions due to
the fact that many vacation activities that would be considered thrilling involve certain health and safety risks. Even the most popular of these, like skydiving and bungee, could result in catastrophy
if several precautions are not taken properly by the proprietors. Correct your spelling
catastrophe
For example
, regardless of the holiday
destination, even a brief research on the Google reviews of some of the biggest excursion providers in the region uncovers disasterous
incidents that one would be oblivious to without looking at online reviews. Correct your spelling
disastrous
Therefore
, due to
these very apparent risks, most people
still prefer to keep such
items out of their itineraries.
In conclusion, the big role in recovery that holidays
play, along with
the risky nature of the aforementioned activities, it is evident that most people
still opt for the same kind of holiday
as they have done in the past. Hence
, there seems no reason to see a significant shift towards the contrary.Submitted by denisbeytekin on
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task achievement
Consider expanding the range of examples provided to strengthen your arguments. While the arguments are valid, more diverse examples could add depth to the essay.
task achievement
Ensure all ideas are clearly explained. For instance, the concept of people avoiding holidays with safety risks could benefit from more specific examples or statistics to be more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs. Although the essay is cohesive, explicit transitions from one idea to the next can increase clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and the conclusion are effectively written, framing the essay well and reiterating the main points.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally well-supported by relevant arguments.
task achievement
The response is complete and directly addresses the prompt, providing a well-rounded argument against the idea that holidays have significantly shifted from relaxation to adventure.
Your opinion
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