Due to poorer countries experiecing a 'brain drain' they are seeing many professionals, such as doctors and teachers, leaving to work in more developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can be suggested to deal with these situations?
In recent times working has been an essential thing in our lives. There are many professionals
such
as doctors and teachers prefer to move to developed countries
for many reasons. I think that personal and financial reasons are the main causes of moving to more developed countries
. This
essay will outline these two causes followed by the best solution to reduce this
issue.
To begin
,the standard of living plays a vital role in leaving to work in advanced countries
. One of the first problems of leaving for more developed countries
is that people are empowered to find more comfortable houses and various shops. For example
, my uncle who works as a teacher moved to Muscat as he wants their children to have the best education in a private school and enjoy their time in different gardens which are not available in developing countries
.Another problem
that needs to be considered is that developed countries
may offer higher salaries for employees. There are a lot of opportunities for the worker to find part-time jobs. For instance
, the result of conducted research at Glasgow University illustrates that 90% of workers moved to developed countries
due to
part-time jobs. As a result
, this
can lead to increase their income in their life.
To address this
problem
, the government should aware people of the negative impacts of leaving to work in more developed countries
. A good example here is the scholarship. If the government teach workers about the negative impacts , potentially they will think about helping people in developing countries
. Another possible solution to this
problem
would be, the government should look for the priority to offer more services in developed countries
to encourage doctors to stay in developing countries
.
In conclusion, both high salaries and more entertainment places are the major reasons for this
problem
. Therefore
, professionals should stop the idea of moving to a developed country and try to do their best in every place.Submitted by 13570581 on
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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by ensuring clear transitions between points. Use linking words and phrases to enhance flow.
task achievement
Outline each cause and solution in separate paragraphs with topic sentences to clarify your argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and ensure each paragraph has a unique contribution to the argument.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples, such as the uncle's experience and Glasgow University's research findings, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main problems and solutions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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