In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot.Does this have more advantages or disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own knowledge and experience.
From all age groups of individuals living in numerous domains devote themselves to
sports
activities. From my perspective, this
is a magnificent habit that a human being can have with no drawbacks on the grounds that by not choosing stable
life people can enhance their physical health Correct article usage
a stable
along with
mental
state.
It is an undeniable fact that doing exercise is the best investment in our body. Since Correct pronoun usage
their mental
such
activities improve immune
system, everyone avoids Add an article
the immune
from
various diseases whether it is cardiovascular or respiratoric. Take a mechanical system as an example. If that system is not utilized, it will be rusty. Change preposition
apply
Same
thing applies Change the article
The same
for
Change preposition
to
human
body. The more we move, the healthier we are. Add an article
the human
Moreover
, excercise
is the worst enemy of Correct your spelling
exercise
the
obesity. As we see, obesity has been of paramount threat to humankind for the Correct article usage
apply
last
decade. Overweight people suffer from plenty of serious health conditions such
as heart disease, high cholesterol, or diabetes. Doing sports
activities both
Add a missing verb
is both
solution
and Correct article usage
a solution
protection
method Correct article usage
a protection
of
Change preposition
for
this
phenomena
.
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
Furthermore
, living with motion excellent
for not only physical state but Add a missing verb
is excellent
also
mental status. As we live in utterly
stressful world, which is not Add an article
an utterly
going
any better, getting rid of unpleasant Verb problem
getting
mood
is vital. Fix the agreement mistake
moods
This
is where sports
involves
. Wrong verb form
are involved
According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
researches
, Fix the agreement mistake
research
human
body releases Add an article
the human
perticular
hormones that Correct your spelling
particular
responsible
for happiness which are serotonin and dopamine. Lack of serotonin and dopamine leads to depression and anxiety. Our mental health, Add a missing verb
are responsible
therefore
, is closely tied to these 2 hormones. Hence
, being busy with exercise and sports
increases our life quality.
In conclusion, in order to protect and enhance our well-being, being physically active is vital.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
Provide more specific and diverse examples to support your points. For instance, you could include examples from different countries or age groups to demonstrate the widespread benefits of exercise.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph links smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to some grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'avoids from' which should be 'avoid'. This will help in improving clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position and sets the context for the essay.
task achievement
You effectively explain the health benefits of exercise, emphasizing both physical and mental well-being.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined conclusion that summarizes the main points.