Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society

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Numerous individuals consider that social networking sites—

such

as Facebook, Ig, and X—cause immense adverse impacts on both people and society. I generally disagree with

this

opinion and think that it has a positive impact in terms of socializing.

However

, it is significant to consider

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

impacts of social networking. On the one hand, social

media

networks prefer crucial

Change preposition

apply

show examples

socializing,

such

as keeping in touch with friends and

families

For instance

, rural individuals come to the capital city to work, so they can not meet and

and

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

can not have a conversation with their

families

Therefore

this

issue can be solved by social

media

networks. Social networking sites allow them to contact their

families

even though they do not live with their

families

Moreover

, it helps us to catch up

news

Change preposition

on news

show examples

For instance

, we can not realize how everything is going, but social

media

will improve us.

On the other hand

, online communities have negative impacts,

such

as privacy

concern

Fix the agreement mistake

concerns

show examples

and isolation. Individuals can easily see our lifestyles on social

media

platforms. If we do something that inappropriate, it will lead to anxiety and panic disorder.

For instance

, some actors may do something incorrect, so people on the internet curse them.

This

can lead to mental health issues,

such

as anxiety, panic disorder, and so on.

In addition

, spending time on social networking can cause isolation. Normally, people will stay in their own rooms and not hang out with friends, so

this

can

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to negative social skills.

Overall

while

social

media

network has its benefits, the drawbacks must not be overlooked.

Submitted by Tiger23 on Sun Oct 06 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence, work on ensuring a more logical progression of ideas within each paragraph. Consider beginning with a clear topic sentence and logically developing the point.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction effectively presents the topic, but it could be more concise. Make sure your main argument is clearly stated in the introduction.

Task Achievement

Strive for greater clarity by providing more detailed explanations for your points. This will make your argumentation more convincing.

Task Achievement

Make sure to address the topic more consistently throughout the essay. Directly linking back to the main question in each paragraph's main point can strengthen your task response.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, providing a clear overview of your stance.

Task Achievement

Good use of examples to support the main points, such as mentioning rural individuals' communication challenges and privacy issues faced by public figures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

erosion
face-to-face
interactions
privacy concerns
data breaches
misinformation
polarize
cyberbullying
online harassment
procrastination
productivity
social isolation
dissemination
breeding ground
vast amounts
personal information
mental health

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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion

Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person's nature. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? What can be done about this lack of sleep?