The most important aim of scence should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, once remarked that the advance of technology is based on making it fit in so that you don't really even notice it, so it's part of everyday life.
Therefore
,
science
, per se, has made us what we are,
master
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masters
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of the universe, ranging from control of fire at first to state-of-the-art technology, e.g.,
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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and AI. These technologies have led our lives to become more comfortable and safe. Admitting that it is a matter of relativity of how we consider the most significant purpose of
science
, the answer varies from person to person, depending on the value systems or the personal traits. All in all, I agree that the most essential target of
science
is improving our lives for two reasons as follows. First and foremost, computer
science
, especially the internet, has drastically made our lifestyle and communication more convenient. In today’s information society, people are able to communicate with others all over the world through the internet.
Besides
, the internet enables us to catch the news on the planet immediately.
Therefore
, these evolutions have encouraged our social activity to be more energetic and contributed to creating a well-being society.
Second,
but not less importantly, it is not too much to say that the ultimate aim of medicine is saving patients from every disease and maintaining our health, i.e.,
this
target directly matches the question statement.
For example
, diagnostic equipment,
such
as X-ray imaging systems and MRIs, enable us to identify the cause of disease and conduct early treatment.
Thus
, people are able to stay fit than before. That having been mentioned, I would like to hasten to add that there are disadvantages
due to
developing technology,
for instance
, global warming. These problems are caused by human greed to pursue our benefit. In conclusion, I believe that the most important purpose of
science
is improving our lives,
while
we must not forget that we are one of the creatures living on the earth.
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task achievement
To improve task response, further elaborate on both sides of the argument. While you have presented a clear stance, discussing potential counterarguments or opposing views in more detail could enhance the essay's depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence. While your ideas are generally well-connected, using more linking phrases could enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and your stance, effectively setting the stage for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
Good use of examples, such as referencing 'computer science' and 'medicine', which convincingly illustrate your point about how science improves lives.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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