Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#governments #money #individuals #events #people #benefit

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There is no denying the fact that some

people

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think the

government

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should spend public

money

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on fitness

people

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but others think not to.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that the

government

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must spend all the

money

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to train the fitness

people

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to win many tournaments others think that they should spend the

money

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on things more beneficial, there is

also

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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the

government

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should put their

money

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on something more beneficial.

To begin

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with, the

government

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should invest their

money

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in something more beneficial.

In other words

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, they should support all kinds of

people

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and give everybody a chance.

In addition

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, all

people

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have hidden talents but they do not have

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

enough

money

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to explore them.

For example

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, there are researchers at Cambridge University said that 90% of

people

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in Saudi Arabia have a hidden talent but as soon as they get the

money

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, they will explore it well. Another point to consider, the

government

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must help all unemployed

people

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in the country. It is

also

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possible to say that they must support them with

money

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or open new kinds of jobs for them.

Moreover

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, they are suffering because they did not find any job and can not live like the average human in their country.

For instance

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, in Saudi Arabia there are 80% of

people

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do not have a job because the jobs are full of employers. In conclusion,

people

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have different answers to

this

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question. I tend to believe that it is true that the

government

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should put a lot of public

money

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into the

people

Use synonyms

who need it

Submitted by bcynfn159 on Tue Oct 08 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This adds credibility and clarity to your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly links to the previous one to improve the overall flow and coherence.

task achievement

Consider addressing potential counterarguments to demonstrate a balanced perspective. This could further enrich your essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the debate and your position, providing a solid framework for your essay.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and reinforces the main argument of your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?