Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that a city's expenditure should be towards the construction of magnificent facilities.
However
, others argue that the money should be used to upgrade public sectors,
such
as schools and hospitals. I think that even though beautiful constructions attract many foreign visitors, teaching and health are far more significant.
Firstly
, proponents of building impressive features claim that
this
cause would increase the number of tourists,
furthermore
, travellers are often drawn to extraordinary landmarks and are willing to spend money to visit them.
For example
, New York is known for attracting millions of tourists each year, compelled by iconic skyscrapers like the Empire State Building. By investing in large-scale infrastructure, cities could see an increase in tourist revenue, which plays a significant role in the nation's economy.
On the other hand
, critics of
this
highlight the potential benefits. If educational institutions were to enhance, it would provide a better
future
for its citizens.
Moreover
, If
education
were to improve, it would provide a better
future
for citizens. Improving not only the schools but
also
the
education
system, would help ensure the development of successful workers in the upcoming years.
For example
, South Korea is extremely rigorous about graduating high school, with students taking high-stakes exams that determine their acceptance into prestigious universities.
Consequently
,
this
emphasis on
education
has contributed to South Korea's economic success, with well-educated workers helping to drive the country's growth. In conclusion, both sides have advantages.
While
spectacular buildings are more valuable, because they bring more attention and money, in my opinion,
education
is far greater for the
future
of the nation. These aspects can benefit a city in diverse ways. The latter provides a more educated community;
however
, the former is
primerly
Correct your spelling
primarily
good for the seduction of outside visitors. Our
future
lies in the hands of young minds,
that is
why their knowledge is the key to a better world and the government should spend their savings on improving
this
sector.
Submitted by ligaevelinabriede on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and maintains a logical flow. Consider using more transitional phrases between points.
task achievement
For task achievement, fully develop each point made. Elaborate more on the impact of spending on education and health.
task achievement
The essay presents both views comprehensively and provides a clear opinion.
task achievement
Appropriate examples are used to support the main points, adding depth to the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-stated, providing a clear framework for the discussion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Architectural grandeur
  • Iconic edifices
  • Economic catalyst
  • Cultural landmark
  • Urban fabric
  • Sustainable development
  • Public services
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Community well-being
  • Infrastructure investment
  • Urban planning
  • Holistic approach
  • Government stewardship
What to do next:
Look at other essays: