Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some people believe that a city's expenditure should be towards the construction of magnificent facilities.
However
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, others argue that the money should be used to upgrade public sectors,
such
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as schools and hospitals. I think that even though beautiful constructions attract many foreign visitors, teaching and health are far more significant.
Firstly
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, proponents of building impressive features claim that
this
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cause would increase the number of tourists,
furthermore
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, travellers are often drawn to extraordinary landmarks and are willing to spend money to visit them.
For example
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, New York is known for attracting millions of tourists each year, compelled by iconic skyscrapers like the Empire State Building. By investing in large-scale infrastructure, cities could see an increase in tourist revenue, which plays a significant role in the nation's economy.
On the other hand
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, critics of
this
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highlight the potential benefits. If educational institutions were to enhance, it would provide a better
future
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for its citizens.
Moreover
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, If
education
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were to improve, it would provide a better
future
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for citizens. Improving not only the schools but
also
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the
education
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system, would help ensure the development of successful workers in the upcoming years.
For example
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, South Korea is extremely rigorous about graduating high school, with students taking high-stakes exams that determine their acceptance into prestigious universities.
Consequently
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,
this
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emphasis on
education
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has contributed to South Korea's economic success, with well-educated workers helping to drive the country's growth. In conclusion, both sides have advantages.
While
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spectacular buildings are more valuable, because they bring more attention and money, in my opinion,
education
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is far greater for the
future
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of the nation. These aspects can benefit a city in diverse ways. The latter provides a more educated community;
however
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, the former is
primerly
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primarily
good for the seduction of outside visitors. Our
future
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lies in the hands of young minds,
that is
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why their knowledge is the key to a better world and the government should spend their savings on improving
this
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sector.
Submitted by ligaevelinabriede on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and maintains a logical flow. Consider using more transitional phrases between points.
task achievement
For task achievement, fully develop each point made. Elaborate more on the impact of spending on education and health.
task achievement
The essay presents both views comprehensively and provides a clear opinion.
task achievement
Appropriate examples are used to support the main points, adding depth to the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-stated, providing a clear framework for the discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Architectural grandeur
  • Iconic edifices
  • Economic catalyst
  • Cultural landmark
  • Urban fabric
  • Sustainable development
  • Public services
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Community well-being
  • Infrastructure investment
  • Urban planning
  • Holistic approach
  • Government stewardship
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