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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a yeat off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

It is becoming more common for
students
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 to take a
year
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 off between finishing high school and starting
university
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.
This
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 trend has several advantages, but it
also
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 brings some disadvantages that young people should think about carefully.
In addition
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, one important advantage is that
gives
Correct pronoun usage
it gives
show examples
students
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 the chance to work and save money. Many teenagers do not have enough financial support for
university
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, so earning money during
this
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year
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 can help them pay for books or accommodation later. Another advantage is that
students
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 can travel and explore new cultures and go to other countries to search for better information .
This
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 experience can teach them independence and help them understand the world better. Some
students
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 are
also
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 unsure about what they want to study, so a
year
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 off gives them extra time to think about their goals and choose the right
university
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 course.
However
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, there are
also
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 disadvantages. One problem is that some
students
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 lose the habit of studying after a long break. When they start
university
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, they might feel unprepared, and it can be difficult to return to a strict academic routine. Another disadvantage is that a gap
year
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 can be expensive, especially if the student decides to travel to other countries. Not every family can pay for
this
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, and some
students
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 may end up in debt.
Also
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, spending a
year
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 without studying can make some
students
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 feel lazy or unmotivated. In conclusion, taking a
year
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 off has both positive and negative effects. It can help
students
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 gain experience and make better decisions, but it
also
Linking Words
 carries financial risks and can reduce academic motivation.

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grammar
Fix the 'it' in 'one important advantage is that gives students the chance' so the sentence has a clear subject.
structure
Add a clear topic sentence for each paragraph to show the main idea.
content
Give more small facts or numbers to back each idea in simple form.
content
The essay shows a balanced view with clear pros and cons.
coherence
Good use of linking words like 'however' and 'in addition'.
structure
The ending sums up the sides well.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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