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Band 3.5

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #clothes #cars #items #brands #is #development
Most people these days choose famous
brands
 to buy their clothes, cars and many things. I believe their high
quality
worth
Add a missing verb
is worth
show examples
 buying from them but these
brands
 are famous worldwide. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of
this
 subject. The main
avdantage
Correct your spelling
advantage
 is the
high
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
quality
 material, famous
brands
 always
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 their goods by using
a high
Correct the article-noun agreement
high quality machines
a high quality machine
show examples
quality
 machines with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very good fabric. They buy the machines and fabrics from
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
 because it always
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
unavailable and much more expensive in the nearby countries.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example,
mackage
Correct article usage
the mackage
show examples
 brand which is a French brand, usually
buy
Correct subject-verb agreement
buys
show examples
 fabric from stores in China because it offers
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better
quality
 and price. When we talk about disadvantages most people have the same item most of the time, popular
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
 are famous around the world and
this
 is the cause that they make a large number of
any product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 to offer
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in every country,
in addition
, social media make the items get more popular.
For instance
, most people in TikTok
showing
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
 what they bought and others go and buy the same thing. In conclusion,
brands
 with good reviews
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
took it because of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
quality
 and its
rapidly
Replace the word
rapid
show examples
 spread.
Submitted by danall1kat on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points you will cover in the essay. This will guide the reader and improve the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Improve the paragraph structure by using clear topic sentences. Ensure each paragraph addresses a distinct idea related to the prompt.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations. Provide more detailed explanations or examples to reinforce your arguments.
task achievement
Expand on both sides of the argument. Discuss in more depth why these developments could be perceived as either positive or negative, and support with examples.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances the coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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