You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: People aim to keep a balance between their work and other parts of their lives, but few people achieve it. What are the problems in trying to achieve this goal and how can these problems be overcome? Write at least 250 words

#minutes #topic #people #aim #balance #work #parts #lives

Individuals tend to choose to keep a balance between their work and lives,

however

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however,

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only a few

people

achieve

this

goal. In

this

essay, I will discuss the issue when we try to achieve

this

aim and give some effective solutions. With the development of today’s society, there are many underlying reasons when trying to approach these problems. In the hustle and bustle of life, it is easy to see that

people

always

snow

Change the form of the verb

snowed

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under with work.

Therefore

people

don’t have much

time

to hang out or do family activities to strengthen family bonds. To explain,

people

often spend 12 hours a day with a lot of assignments to do.

For example

, some staff cannot make their plans which leads to their lack of achievement or

freetime

Correct your spelling

free time

Besides

, teachers take

Remove the article

apply

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half of the day to teach in the school, and they still prepare lesson plans for the next day, so it is difficult to achieve

the

Correct article usage

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balance between their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

and other parts of their lives.

On the other hand

, there is a wide range of solutions to these issues. First of all, the governments should introduce policies to reduce working hours and increase wages for workers to help them reduce their financial burden and

time

pressure, which can help them have more

time

to carry out other activities with their family and friends.

In addition

, individuals should spend a bit of

time

creating the

plane

Correct your spelling

plan

show examples

which helps them be more disciplined, punctual and able to anticipate unexpected busyness.

Last

but not least,

people

must use their

time

rationally and effectively on useful things.

For instance

, the governments in Vietnam made many policies to support

people

in terms of employment by increasing salaries and declining working hours in some jobs. In conclusion, trying to keep a balance between work and life is hard to do because these issues have a number of difficult aspects. By being aware of these problems and understanding some reason, they can handle and overcome problems easily.

Submitted by elsenglish16992 on Wed Oct 09 2024

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task achievement

Provide more detailed examples to strengthen your points and increase the clarity of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all paragraphs have a clear central idea and support this with logical reasoning.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frames the discussion.

task achievement

You explored potential solutions well, demonstrating insight into societal and individual changes that could promote better work-life balance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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