IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Historical objects in museums all over the world should be returned to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Whether
antiques
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 should be returned to their original
countries
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 has been controversial. From my perspective, on the one hand, these historical objects ought to be sent back as
this
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 conforms to modern justification;
on the other hand
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, the original
countries
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 had better bring their claims out of respect and affection for their own cultures, not resentment towards once colonisers.
Firstly
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, I clearly support the
claim
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 of returning these
antiques
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, since these plunders were the unfortunate reminders of an age of Social Darwinism. During that period, science had just repelled religion and thereby people did not believe the punishment from God any more.
As a result
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, what ruled our society was blood and fire. Thrilled by the new reality and the power brought about by the development of science, the
West
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 cruelly and greedily plundered the ancient oriental
countries
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, including the Qing Dynasty, Japan, Korea, and Egypt. Large amounts of mummies, porcelains, and scenery paintings were transported to the
West
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.
However
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, that bloody age has gone and any government with consciousness should actively redeem their ancestors' crimes by returning these
antiques
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 blasphemed by blood. The opinion above may make me sound like an extremist motivated by patriotism.
However
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,
this
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 is exactly what I want to criticise. In an age facing serious de-globalisation, many exponents who enthusiastically
claim
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 these
antiques
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 do
this
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 more out of resentment towards colonisers than affection for their traditional cultures.
For example
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, in 2017, a group of Chinese filmed a documentary called The Lost Treasures, in which the director has always emphasised the ownership of these
antiques
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, but seldom referred to the cultural and historical value of them.
This
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 has forced me to suspect that he does not really care about these
antiques
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, merely utilising them as an approach to express anger towards the
West
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. I doubt if
this
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 will help retrieve "treasures", but I am sure that
this
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 will
further
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 elevate the tension between China and the
West
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. To summarise, I support the
claim
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 that historical objects be sent back to the
countries
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 of origin.
However
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, at the same time, I sincerely hope these
countries
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 once bullied in the 19th and 20th centuries could treat
this
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claim
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 more as an opportunity to retrieve their lost cultures than revenge towards colonisers.

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task achievement
Ensure arguments remain focused on the essay prompt and not deviate into broader political issues.
task achievement
Maintain a balanced tone throughout the essay to ensure arguments are perceived as rational and unbiased.
task achievement
Consider providing more contemporary examples to support arguments for relevance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance logical flow further.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words effectively to maintain the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the topic, addressing multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are well-structured, with a logical flow and cohesive development of arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction that sets the context and a strong conclusion summarizing the main points.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant historical examples to support the arguments made.
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