IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has had negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #phones #communication #effects #skills
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Nowadays, it has been quite common for
people
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, especially young ones, to use electronic devices,
such
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 as computers and
smart phones
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smartphones
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(smartphones), to communicate with others,
due to
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 the(去掉the) technological advances.
However
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, some individuals argue that
this
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 behaviour has some negative effects on youngsters' reading and writing skills. From my perspective, I tend to agree with
this
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 view. One main reason in favour of
this
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 opinion is that it undermines readers' deep-reading ability.
For example
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, when young adults choose to read online, they often skim a passage or a news report quickly in the way of spotting only some key isolated words. It severely limits their time to imagine the story they are reading and their emotions to experience the author's happiness and sadness.
Thus
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, they just stay at the surface of the vocabulary and sentences without deep thinking.
Besides
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, constant communication through electronic devices adversely affects teenagers' writing ability.
That is
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 because when a person uses a computer or cell phone to type words, the cutting-edge software in them often automatically
correts
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corrects
correct
(corrects) some spelling and
gramatical
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grammatical
(grammatical) mistakes, which leads individuals to fail to consciously recognise these errors if writing in (+a) traditional way.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that
this
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 kind of communication exerts some positive influences on writing. When
people
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 opt to employ a computer to write, it is very convenient for them to search for some valuable information as a reference to improve their writing.
Furthermore
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, some websites supply the function to comment on essays and some given suggestions are very constructive.
However
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, some individuals may rely too much on technology -- using it to
writing
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write
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(write) articles directly. In conclusion, I tend to agree with the view that
this
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 trend has caused some detrimental impacts on
people
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's reading and writing abilities since it adversely affects young
people
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’s deep-reading and spelling-correcting abilities. In order to avoid the drawback(drawbacks) mentioned above,
people
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 should realise the danger of too much reliance on electronic devices and try to spend some time on previous method(methods) to read and write.
Submitted by 1378468145 on

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task achievement
Add specific data or studies to support your points regarding the negative and positive effects of electronic devices on reading and writing skills.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a single idea clearly to improve overall coherence. You might merge similar points to create a stronger argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by acknowledging both the negative and positive aspects of technology on writing and reading skills.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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