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Writing Samples
Band 6

Once children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#children #school #teachers #influence #development #parents
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It is often thought that
teachers
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 have a greater influence on the intellectual and social
aspect
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aspects
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 of
children
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 once they begin going to
school
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. I completely agree with
this
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 statement as
teachers
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 teach them how to sharpen their intellectual skills
as well as
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 build relationships with one another.
Firstly
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,
teachers
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 may educate or discuss topics with students that require them to generate ideas and think critically.
For example
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, a debate may take place in the classroom, allowing students to express their reasoning and understanding
on
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of
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 certain subjects. Through
such
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 activities,
teachers
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 are able to observe the way they think and help them in areas of weakness.
In addition
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, parents are not always free to focus on improving the intellect of their
child
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, but
instead
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, prioritise showing love and care towards them by looking after them.
Furthermore
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, most of the time that
children
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 spend with their friends
are
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is
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 in
school
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 where
teachers
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 are able to monitor their social
interactions
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interaction
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 skills. If a
teacher
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 notices that a
child
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 lacks the skill to interact with other pupils, it is their job to help them in that aspect.
Moreover
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,
children
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 do not often spend time with their friends at home,
therefore
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, parents do not have the opportunity to notice the social life of their
child
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. In conclusion, learning takes place in
school
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 within the confines of the classroom, where a
teacher
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 is able to understand and observe the way a
child
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 thinks.
As well as
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 that, the social development of
children
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 is mostly done in
school
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 where the majority of their friends are. Both the intellect and social advancement of a pupil
is
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are
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 greatly influenced by a
teacher
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, as in both of these situations, a
teacher
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 is present.
Submitted by d.adeliasong on

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task achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, citing specific educational theories or research on teacher influence could add depth.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using connecting words or phrases can help maintain the flow and make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong framework for your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas presented are logically sequenced, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You effectively explain how teachers impact both intellectual and social development, which directly addresses the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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