Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

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In the contemporary epoch, from some individuals' standpoint, competition is useful in several sectors of our lives,
such
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as work, educational establishments, and daily life.
In contrast
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, other
people
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believe that cooperation is more helpful than competition. Both of them have positive and negative aspects, in my opinion, cooperating with other
people
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is the best approach in all places. On the one hand, members of the public who are passionate about competing can progress faster than other individuals.
Due to
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this
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spirit, they compare themselves with other
people
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and diagnose other
people
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's superiority.
Hence
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, by following them, they thrive on several issues.
For instance
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, Cristiano Ronaldo is the role model of
this
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issue and he always underscores the competing characteristics that lead to several successes in his life .
On the other hand
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, members of society who make an effort to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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contribution
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contribute
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with
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to
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other
people
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have healthier minds compared to other
people
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.
In addition
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, not only does
this
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attitude cause success in the long-term, but they
also
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get away from numerous comparisons that can cause many intellectual diseases.
Moreover
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,
people
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who have
this
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spirit help each other so everything gets easier and whenever
people
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assist in other
people
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's tasks, they feel useful for their society.
For example
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,
although
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Michael Phelps has many accomplishments in his career, nowadays, he encounters depression
that is
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rooted in his competitive personality. In conclusion, competition and cooperation have advantages and drawbacks so
people
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have different views about them. From my point of view, cooperating is the better method that not only leads to success but
also
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does not have a detrimental effect on human health.

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task achievement
Try to further balance your discussion by providing more points supporting the opposite view, and possibly mention scenarios where competition might be essential. This ensures a well-rounded representation of both sides.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied transition words and phrases to further enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will contribute to a more seamless reading experience.
coherence cohesion
You provided an insightful introduction and a strong conclusion, effectively framing your argument and reiterating your stance.
task achievement
You used relevant and specific examples, such as Cristiano Ronaldo and Michael Phelps, to effectively illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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