These days, many teenagers commit crimes. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

The number of crimes which has been committed by young individuals has increased at present.
This
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is mainly because of a lack of parental control and peer pressure.
However
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, there are several steps that can be taken to deal with
this
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issue
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.
Firstly
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, some
parents
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do not give enough attention to their
children
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.
In other words
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, most
parents
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these days are busy at work, so they do not have
time
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to monitor their
children
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at home.
For example
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, in most big cities,
parents
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work from morning to evening, so no one is at home to look after their
children
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.
As a result
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, these
children
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can do whatever they want freely, including committing crimes.
Secondly
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, having the wrong group of
friends
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can
also
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cause
this
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issue
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. When
children
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spend
time
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with bad
friends
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, they can be influenced negatively. There are two effective solutions to overcome
this
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issue
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. One way is that
parents
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should spend more
time
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with their
children
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at home.
That is
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to say, showing more care and affection to
children
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will increase positive feelings between
parents
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and
children
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.
For instance
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, calling them during work hours lets them feel that they are cared for and that their
parents
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are near.
Therefore
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, the relationship will be strong and the trust will increase, and
children
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will think a lot before doing any wrong actions. Another method is that
children
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should be educated to choose the right
friends
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. When they see their
friends
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doing bad things at school, they should stay away from them.
To sum up
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, spending
time
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with
children
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and educating them on choosing the right
friends
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are effective in dealing with
this
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issue
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. If
parents
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implement these solutions,
this
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problem could be solved easily.

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structure
Plan with a short intro, then two clear parts for causes and solutions, and finish with a short closing.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and cause–effect, like first, also, and as a result, so the reading is smooth.
content
Give more exact examples or facts to back each idea to show you know the topic well.
grammar
Check small grammar mistakes and use simple, correct forms, e.g. The number of crimes has increased recently.
style
Try to keep the same simple words but vary how you write sentences so it sounds good.
structure
The piece has a clear plan and good order of ideas.
content
Two main ideas are shown: causes and solutions.
lexical
Some examples are used to back points, like busy parents in cities.
conclusion
The ending restates the main idea, which helps the close.
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