IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this a positive or negative development?

#countries #consumers #supermarket #food #world #development
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In recent times, the issue of purchasing international
food
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 from supermarkets that are produced all over the
world
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 has sparked considerable debate.
This
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 essay aims to discuss both the positive and negative sides of the argument before presenting my perspective. Purchasing produced items from all over the
world
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 is an essential topic to discuss and analyze. There is no denying that it is an important point.
Otherwise
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, it is controversial. It is important to speak about the pros and cons of providing
food
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 from all over the
world
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. There are some distinctive benefits of providing
food
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 from all over the
world
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. There are immense advances in providing
food
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 from different
countries
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. It will impact on a positive way on people.
Firstly
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, there will be substantial
food
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 options in the market from various
countries
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. Consumers who prefer specific items that cannot be produced in local industries will find many options in supermarkets from any region.
Secondly
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, I firmly believe that we have a lot of resident people who accommodate in our country, they will find several options which relevant to their traditional
food
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,
for instance
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 Chinese
food
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 and Indian
food
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.
Thirdly
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, providing
food
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 from different
countries
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 from all over the
world
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 may mitigate the local industries' expenses.
On the other hand
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, there are many negatives of providing
food
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 from all over the
world
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. One of them, international
food
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 is expensive because of shipping costs.
Subsequently
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, shipping costs lead the retailer to put high prices on the items.
Furthermore
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, local
food
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 industries will face competition against those produced from all over the
world
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, the significant point to consider is
large
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a large
the large
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 number of consumers tend to purchase international
food
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.
Finally
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, providing
this
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 type of
food
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 may lead to economic and financial problems for the country. These are the major reasons why most
countries
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 produce their local
food
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. In conclusion, providing
food
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 from all over the
world
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 to our market has brought many benefits to society.
However
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, from my perspective, it is likely to produce many negatives soon. Ultimately, the decision depends.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your ideas to improve comprehensiveness.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.
task achievement
The task is addressed with a discussion of both positive and negative aspects of global food availability.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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