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Band 6

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.

#threats #humans #face #st #century #sea #levels #rise #rates
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One of the most significant hazards of the 21st Century is global warming, which has caused a rise in sea levels.
This
 phenomenon has placed undue dangers on both individuals and society as a whole.
However
, measures can be taken to address
this
 issue. Global warming has made
potential
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the potential
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 danger of land loss
and
Correct word choice
apply
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become more apparent, ultimately hindering people's lives. As global temperature continues to grow, icebergs melt, and sea levels rise.
This
 escalated level can cause various natural disasters,
such
 as flooding and tsunamis, which can ultimately erode residential areas and place an enormous financial burden on societies. Coastal residents are particularly prone to these catastrophes.
Additionally
, floods cause soil erosion and eradicate crop fields. As farming lands become submerged, food supplies would be halved because harvests are completely lost, and the whole society will become dependent on animal products.
Consequently
 people's physical and mental ability hampers, resulting from malnutrition and famine.
While
 the repercussions of uncautious behaviours are concerning, viable solutions could be used to tackle these problems. In terms of
individuals'
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individual'
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 properties, houses can be built on high mountains and hills in order to mitigate the loss caused by natural phenomena.
Moreover
, building seawalls in coastal regions contributes to mitigating the overtopping effect, a cyclic nature of waves resulting in huge amounts of water.
finally
, urban farming can be implemented as an alternative to traditional horticulture to ensure enough supplies in case of natural disasters. In conclusion, escalated sea levels have potential downturns.
However
, feasible measures can be taken to solve the problem.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples and data if possible to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and a clear conclusion, effectively framing the topic.
task achievement
You adequately addressed the task by discussing both the problems and potential solutions related to rising sea levels.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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