Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

The happiness of each person is individual and is affected by a
lot
of factors. Some
people
say that money is the most efficient way to be happy,
while
others consider that financial wellness is not so crucial.
This
essay explains both points of view. Money does not make
people
happy itself but allows its owners to afford a
lot
of things depending on how rich they are.
For instance
, hobbies are something that can make
people
happy. It can be said that travelling is one of the most popular and desired leisure in the world, but it requires to be able to buy tickets, book hotels, buy food or eat in restaurants in other countries.
Consequently
, the traveller should have enough finances not only to visit different locations but
also
not to spend everything in one trip.
Additionally
, more factors that increase the level of satisfaction can be listed,
such
as not planned purchases, a variety of foods and luxury cars or apartments that obviously cost different amounts of money.
However
, there are a
lot
of examples when someone is happy even if not wealthy. An excellent example is relationships with other
people
.
Likewise
, having a family and getting a
lot
of pleasure from communicating with your partner and children, having friends with whom you can meet a spend time together, involving in different social activities,
such
as volunteering to help someone who is in some trouble now. In conclusion, each person is unique with their own history, burdens, preferences and philosophy. Since it is not a simple task to define happiness, in general, it could be said that it is an extremely individual attitude which can be reached in different ways.
Submitted by batashevge on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your argument, especially when talking about the benefits of money and relationships.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your paragraph transitions to improve the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces and concludes the topic effectively, helping to frame the argument clearly.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by exploring both sides of the argument, showing a good level of task achievement.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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