Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

The happiness of each person is individual and is affected by a

lot

of factors. Some

people

say that money is the most efficient way to be happy,

while

others consider that financial wellness is not so crucial.

This

essay explains both points of view. Money does not make

people

happy itself but allows its owners to afford a

lot

of things depending on how rich they are.

For instance

, hobbies are something that can make

people

happy. It can be said that travelling is one of the most popular and desired leisure in the world, but it requires to be able to buy tickets, book hotels, buy food or eat in restaurants in other countries.

Consequently

, the traveller should have enough finances not only to visit different locations but

also

not to spend everything in one trip.

Additionally

, more factors that increase the level of satisfaction can be listed,

such

as not planned purchases, a variety of foods and luxury cars or apartments that obviously cost different amounts of money.

However

, there are a

lot

of examples when someone is happy even if not wealthy. An excellent example is relationships with other

people

Likewise

, having a family and getting a

lot

of pleasure from communicating with your partner and children, having friends with whom you can meet a spend time together, involving in different social activities,

such

as volunteering to help someone who is in some trouble now. In conclusion, each person is unique with their own history, burdens, preferences and philosophy. Since it is not a simple task to define happiness, in general, it could be said that it is an extremely individual attitude which can be reached in different ways.

Submitted by batashevge on Mon Oct 14 2024

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task achievement

Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your argument, especially when talking about the benefits of money and relationships.

coherence cohesion

Work on refining your paragraph transitions to improve the logical flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay introduces and concludes the topic effectively, helping to frame the argument clearly.

task achievement

You present a balanced view by exploring both sides of the argument, showing a good level of task achievement.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. some people say this is negative development . Discuss and give your opinion.

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