Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet.

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There is an ongoing debate about whether
schools
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should be responsible for fostering healthy eating
habits
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in
children
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or if
this
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responsibility
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lies with
parents
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.
While
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some argue that
schools
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play an essential role in guiding
children
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's eating
habits
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, others believe that
parents
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hold the primary
responsibility
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as the first educators in a child’s life.
This
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essay will explore
both
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perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On one hand,
schools
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not only serve as places for academic learning but
also
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play a crucial part in
children
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's daily lives, as they spend a significant amount of time there.
Schools
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can implement regulations related to
food
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consumption, ensuring that students develop healthy eating
habits
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Additionally
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
children
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are more likely to follow
such
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rules when their peers are doing the same, creating a supportive environment that encourages the adoption of healthy
habits
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For example
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,
schools
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

could provide balanced meal options and limit the availability of junk
food
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, which would make it easier for
children
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to make healthier choices.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some people believe that the
responsibility
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for a healthy diet lies with
parents
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. As the first role models in a child's life,
parents
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are in a unique position to
instill
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instil

The spelling of instill is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
good eating
habits
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from an early age. Young
children
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typically eat what is served at home, making it essential for
parents
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to introduce nutritious foods.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can set a positive example by consuming healthy
food
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themselves, which can encourage
children
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to follow their lead.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if
parents
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make fruits and vegetables a regular part of family meals,
children
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are more likely to develop a preference for these foods. In my view,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

both
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schools
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
parents
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play important roles, a balanced approach that involves
both
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parties would be the most effective. At home,
parents
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can nurture healthy eating
habits
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by teaching their
children
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about the benefits of a nutritious diet. Meanwhile,
schools
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can support
this
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by enforcing rules that promote healthy
food
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choices and providing a positive eating environment. Regular monitoring and collaboration between
schools
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and
parents
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could
further
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enhance
children
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's understanding of healthy eating. In conclusion, the debate over whether
schools
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or
parents
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should take
responsibility
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for promoting healthy eating in
children
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highlights the vital roles
both
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parties play.
Schools
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offer a structured environment where healthy
habits
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can be encouraged,
while
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parents
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serve as the first educators, shaping
children
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's eating
behaviors
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behaviours

The spelling of behaviors is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
from a young age. A collaborative approach between
schools
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and
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is likely to yield the best results in guiding
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

toward a healthy diet.

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task achievement
Consider adding a few more examples or data/statistics that illustrate your points more vividly, particularly in the sections where you discuss the roles of schools and parents.
coherence cohesion
While the structure is clear, consider using more cohesive devices to further improve the flow between paragraphs. This would make the connections between ideas even more seamless.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your line of argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt thoroughly, considering both sides of the argument effectively.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the availability of balanced meals in schools, effectively supports your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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