Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet.

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There is an ongoing debate about whether
schools
should be responsible for fostering healthy eating
habits
in
children
or if
this
responsibility
lies with
parents
.
While
some argue that
schools
play an essential role in guiding
children
's eating
habits
, others believe that
parents
hold the primary
responsibility
as the first educators in a child’s life.
This
essay will explore
both
perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On one hand,
schools
not only serve as places for academic learning but
also
play a crucial part in
children
's daily lives, as they spend a significant amount of time there.
Schools
can implement regulations related to
food
consumption, ensuring that students develop healthy eating
habits
.
Additionally
,
children
are more likely to follow
such
rules when their peers are doing the same, creating a supportive environment that encourages the adoption of healthy
habits
.
For example
,
schools
could provide balanced meal options and limit the availability of junk
food
, which would make it easier for
children
to make healthier choices.
On the other hand
, some people believe that the
responsibility
for a healthy diet lies with
parents
. As the first role models in a child's life,
parents
are in a unique position to
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
good eating
habits
from an early age. Young
children
typically eat what is served at home, making it essential for
parents
to introduce nutritious foods.
Moreover
,
parents
can set a positive example by consuming healthy
food
themselves, which can encourage
children
to follow their lead.
For instance
, if
parents
make fruits and vegetables a regular part of family meals,
children
are more likely to develop a preference for these foods. In my view,
while
both
schools
and
parents
play important roles, a balanced approach that involves
both
parties would be the most effective. At home,
parents
can nurture healthy eating
habits
by teaching their
children
about the benefits of a nutritious diet. Meanwhile,
schools
can support
this
by enforcing rules that promote healthy
food
choices and providing a positive eating environment. Regular monitoring and collaboration between
schools
and
parents
could
further
enhance
children
's understanding of healthy eating. In conclusion, the debate over whether
schools
or
parents
should take
responsibility
for promoting healthy eating in
children
highlights the vital roles
both
parties play.
Schools
offer a structured environment where healthy
habits
can be encouraged,
while
parents
serve as the first educators, shaping
children
's eating
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
from a young age. A collaborative approach between
schools
and
parents
is likely to yield the best results in guiding
children
toward a healthy diet.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Consider adding a few more examples or data/statistics that illustrate your points more vividly, particularly in the sections where you discuss the roles of schools and parents.
coherence cohesion
While the structure is clear, consider using more cohesive devices to further improve the flow between paragraphs. This would make the connections between ideas even more seamless.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your line of argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt thoroughly, considering both sides of the argument effectively.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the availability of balanced meals in schools, effectively supports your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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