Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet.

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There is an ongoing debate about whether

schools

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should be responsible for fostering healthy eating

habits

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children

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or if

this

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responsibility

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lies with

parents

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While

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some argue that

schools

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play an essential role in guiding

children

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's eating

habits

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, others believe that

parents

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hold the primary

responsibility

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as the first educators in a child’s life.

This

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essay will explore

both

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perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On one hand,

schools

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not only serve as places for academic learning but

also

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play a crucial part in

children

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's daily lives, as they spend a significant amount of time there.

Schools

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can implement regulations related to

food

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consumption, ensuring that students develop healthy eating

habits

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Additionally

Linking Words

children

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are more likely to follow

such

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rules when their peers are doing the same, creating a supportive environment that encourages the adoption of healthy

habits

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For example

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schools

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could provide balanced meal options and limit the availability of junk

food

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, which would make it easier for

children

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to make healthier choices.

On the other hand

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, some people believe that the

responsibility

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for a healthy diet lies with

parents

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. As the first role models in a child's life,

parents

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are in a unique position to

instill

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instil

show examples

good eating

habits

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from an early age. Young

children

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typically eat what is served at home, making it essential for

parents

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to introduce nutritious foods.

Moreover

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parents

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can set a positive example by consuming healthy

food

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themselves, which can encourage

children

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to follow their lead.

For instance

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, if

parents

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make fruits and vegetables a regular part of family meals,

children

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are more likely to develop a preference for these foods. In my view,

while

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both

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schools

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and

parents

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play important roles, a balanced approach that involves

both

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parties would be the most effective. At home,

parents

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can nurture healthy eating

habits

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by teaching their

children

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about the benefits of a nutritious diet. Meanwhile,

schools

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can support

this

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by enforcing rules that promote healthy

food

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choices and providing a positive eating environment. Regular monitoring and collaboration between

schools

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and

parents

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could

further

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enhance

children

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's understanding of healthy eating. In conclusion, the debate over whether

schools

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parents

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should take

responsibility

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for promoting healthy eating in

children

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highlights the vital roles

both

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parties play.

Schools

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offer a structured environment where healthy

habits

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can be encouraged,

while

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parents

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serve as the first educators, shaping

children

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's eating

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

from a young age. A collaborative approach between

schools

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and

parents

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is likely to yield the best results in guiding

children

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toward a healthy diet.

ru.kabiru.biruTue Oct 15 2024

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task achievement

Consider adding a few more examples or data/statistics that illustrate your points more vividly, particularly in the sections where you discuss the roles of schools and parents.

coherence cohesion

While the structure is clear, consider using more cohesive devices to further improve the flow between paragraphs. This would make the connections between ideas even more seamless.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your line of argument.

task achievement

You have addressed the prompt thoroughly, considering both sides of the argument effectively.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as the availability of balanced meals in schools, effectively supports your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

418 words

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Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, air travel has become a much cheaper form of transport than in the past. Some people say this is a positive development. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artist should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that children should not watch television as it has negative effects while some people believe that they should watch television as it helps them in their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

(QG) Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because we see the same TV shows, advertisements, fashion and follow the same brands. To what extent the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?