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Band 7

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #succesfull #attention
Advertisements play a significant role in every commercial field.
This
 extended area included numerous ideas and opportunities to encourage
people
.
However
, in some
people
's opinion, advertising is very similar, and no one is willing to be affected by advertising anymore. Against that argument, some
people
 say that it is as beneficial as seductive to buy stuff. Advertising is captivating us. First of all, advertising has been beneficial for ages.
People
 use it to market their products. Even though their manufacturing quality is poor, they can seduce
people
 with their advertisements and maintain their factories by being publicised. There are many ways to create advertising: the most popular one is via the internet because no one is paying attention to television or newspapers anymore.
Therefore
, we can access all the product information because manufacturers emit fancy information to persuade
people
.
Also
, the advertising sector was increased by commercial fields
due to
 employment being filled in that sector, which can give more opportunities to employers.
On the other hand
, even though convincing society to purchase the products with over-praise, they will not buy a second time if they are not satisfied with the product, so promoting should include reality to maintain the marketing process because tricked
people
 lead to massive issues as like society can report the fake and absurd to the law. In conclusion, promotions are the best option for marketing products, even though they rarely affect a terrible way. So we can use advertisements well and solidly and get positive outcomes. .
Submitted by temelmelisa9 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure by using a variety of sentence lengths and types to enhance readability. Use more linking words to better connect your ideas.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are clearly supported with specific examples. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, providing a solid structure to your essay.
task achievement
You tackled both sides of the argument effectively, showing an understanding of the complexities of advertising's impact.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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