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These days people spend more and more time at work and less time at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #time #work #home
These days more and more employees are devoting more time to their work
instead
 of their families.
This
 subject has some benefits;
however
, it has a lot of deficiencies as well. In
this
 essay,I will explore the pros and cons of working overtime. On the one hand, working for long
hours
 can be advantageous for people for some vital reasons.
Firstly
, it provides a great opportunity for them to push themselves to learn more valuable and priceless knowledge.
This
 would be especially useful for Undergraduates or new graduates who are willing to do anything to gain some worthy experience.
Secondly
, when workforces are willing to put in more
hours
, the organization will be able to accept more projects and finalize them on time;
As a result
, companies may
also
 share a portion of the project profit with their workforces by offering them higher salary.
On the Other hand
, spending overtime at work has enormous disadvantages
such
 as struggling with family relationship issues which can cause increasing stress levels for employees
as well as
 those of their family members. Stressing out cannot deliver satisfactory performance at the workplace and the efficiency will be declined if they spend too much time in the office.
As a consequence
, they struggle with mental issues
such
 as depression and anxiety because of the number of tasks they must finish.
This
 can be shown by employees who work many
hours
 a day and they arrive home exhausted and tired and they go to bed as soon as possible.
Furthermore
, because of the inactivity that many modern works have, it
also
 can cause some physical problems,
such
 as obesity and diabetes. To sum it up, working long
hours
 has some benefits
such
 as promotion and gain experience, yet it
also
 has negative effects on workers’ mental and physical health
Submitted by mr.sadeghnezhadengineer on

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task achievement
Consider integrating more specific examples or evidence to support the points made, particularly in relation to the benefits of working overtime.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow from one idea to the next. The transitions between some paragraphs and points could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively setting the stage for the discussion and summarizing the key points respectively.
task achievement
You covered the main advantages and disadvantages comprehensively, providing a clear and balanced response to the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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