Some people think it is a better way to go abroad to work or study, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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It is often argued that staying in their own nation might be the better way to choose their next path,

while

others believe studying or working abroad is the best way.

This

essay will discuss both perspectives

along with

my tendency to agree towards the latter idea. Staying in the same country for study or work is suitable for those who avoid living far away from their families or hometowns. It is not uncommon for a household to forbid their family member to go overseas regarding the reason that they will not have a vision and protection.

In addition

, for some people, it is seemingly easier to understand the system and mechanism of the job market they want to choose next in the same region.

For instance

, Indonesian fresh graduates do not need to worry about fulfilling certain job requirements since they already know about the domestic procedure that rotates

similarly

from time to time.

On the other hand

, studying overseas brings various benefits

such

as providing broad major choices.

Thus

, it is categorized as one of the reasons for a student to leave their own country regarding the limited choices in their home universities.

Besides

, foreign countries bring more cultural differences for students to learn more.

As a result

, it leads them to enhance their knowledge enrichments.

For example

, every changing year, numerous Indonesian students are ambitiously wanting to get an IISMA scholarship.

This

phenomenon can be proven as a form of Indonesian students' desire to explore their study journey abroad.

To conclude

, I personally believe despite no distance apart from their hometown and an understanding belief in choosing their job fields, overseas experiences offer multiple benefits

such

as diverse specifications choices

together with

cultural differences for people to learn.

Submitted by talithanakhwah19 on Sun Dec 31 2023

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coherence cohesion

Make sure your essay has a clear logical sequence with each paragraph smoothly transitioning into the next. Use a range of cohesive devices but be careful not to overuse them.

task achievement

Develop your main ideas more thoroughly. Each paragraph should explore the ideas presented with greater depth, clarity, and detail.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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