Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Undeniably,
music
has become part of human routine. Since ancient times,
music
has been part of ceremonies
also
special celebrations utilised
music
to entertain audiences. Humans have been developing
music
and instruments, starting from humming rhythms until become melodies and lyrics.
Music
surrounds us
such
as raining sounds, birds chirping and people singing.
Moreover
,
music
significantly impacts individuals feeling. I admittedly that
music
mainly serves as a way for people to reduce their anxiety.
Music
has been
utilising
Wrong verb form
utilised
show examples
as a tool to decrease stress and calm a person’s mind. Most psychologists say melody has an effect on mental health
along with
hormones.
For example
, melody and rhythm can lessen cortisol which is a hormone that
releases
Wrong verb form
is released
show examples
when you are anxious. Some mental health therapists advise
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
listen to
music
when you are stressed and panicked.
Moreover
,
music
remarkably influences our emotions.
For instance
, classical
music
is able to please the listener’s soul. Pop
music
entertains the audience and makes them enjoy
along with
the melody. Heavy notes create excitement. Movies are a great example of how beats can influence audience emotion, each type of film will have its specific background sound. Horror movies use drums to make the audience scared. Romantic movies use love songs to represent good feelings. Several scientists have the ability to play instruments
such
as Albert Einstein who played
a
Change the article
the
show examples
piano when he was a kid.
Furthermore
,
music
impacts human intellect. Researchers said
music
assembles individual concentration and allows them to focus on their tasks. In conclusion,
music
involves being in numerous ways.
Music
supports concentration and relaxes people from their uneasy feelings. Plus
music
is one of the mental therapy methods that help patients who suffer from anxiety.
Submitted by mameaw2112meowmeow on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure that each point or example directly ties back to the main argument regarding music's role in reducing stress and anxiety. Try to maintain a clearer focus so that all points are directly relevant to the question.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on using transitional phrases to ensure smooth progression between ideas and paragraphs. This will help create a more logical flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively address the question of whether music serves primarily to reduce stress and anxiety.
task achievement
The use of examples such as the role of music in movies and its psychological effects show practical and relevant application, strengthening the task response.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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