Schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #children #information #internet #study #home

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this

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modern world, whether or not the existence of

schools

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is necessary has been a widely debated issue. Some people believe that

schools

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are no longer a must

due to

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the prevalence of the

Internet

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nowadays. In

this

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essay, I will explain why I strongly disagree with

this

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statement.

Although

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being able to acquire information through the

Internet

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children

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might be addicted to video games or social media, both of which distract their studies badly. Some of them even suffer from eye strain and nearsightedness because of prolonged use of screens without taking breaks properly.

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but not least, the majority of

children

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tend to develop a sedentary lifestyle, causing them to risk chronic diseases

such

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as obesity and hypertension.

In contrast

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schools

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typically have strict regulations regarding surfing the

Internet

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and courses requiring students to do outdoor exercises, so the above concerns can be easily solved.

Besides

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learning knowledge,

schools

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provide other basic educational resources to

children

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in my opinion. First of all, when individuals are involved in group activities or discussions, they will learn about communication skills, teamwork abilities, and time management.

In addition

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, only teachers,

instead

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of computers, can address students' learning problems and inspire them to build confidence to face the challenges.

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children

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sometimes have questions about their future careers, and suggestions from teachers are much more meaningful than anonymous

Internet

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users. In conclusion, even if the

Internet

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enables people to learn on their own, I believe that

schools

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still play a crucial role in society and are necessary for providing social experiences and guiding mentors.

Submitted by a9572111067 on Tue Jan 21 2025

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task achievement

The essay contains a clear and comprehensive response to the task, effectively disagreeing with the statement that schools are no longer necessary.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured, with a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly present and summarize your position.

coherence cohesion

Main points are logically organized and supported with relevant reasons.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social development
fostering communication
personalized guidance
immediate feedback
replicated
structured environments
discipline
time management skills
extracurricular activities
nurture talents
inculcate
sense of community
shared learning experiences
equal access
learning opportunities

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Schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching another planet to live on, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some countries are struggling with increase in crime rates. some belive that having more police on the street is best way to reduce and combat ctime. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the rise of e-books, come the decline in paper books . Some people see this ad a good forward step while others do not. What are advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university , to work or to travel . Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?