Schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home. What extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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modern world, whether or not the existence of
schools
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is necessary has been a widely debated issue. Some people believe that
schools
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are no longer a must
due to
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the prevalence of the
Internet
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nowadays. In
this
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essay, I will explain why I strongly disagree with
this
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statement.
Although
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being able to acquire information through the
Internet
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,
children
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might be addicted to video games or social media, both of which distract their studies badly. Some of them even suffer from eye strain and nearsightedness because of prolonged use of screens without taking breaks properly.
Last
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but not least, the majority of
children
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tend to develop a sedentary lifestyle, causing them to risk chronic diseases
such
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as obesity and hypertension.
In contrast
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,
schools
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typically have strict regulations regarding surfing the
Internet
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and courses requiring students to do outdoor exercises, so the above concerns can be easily solved.
Besides
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learning knowledge,
schools
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provide other basic educational resources to
children
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in my opinion. First of all, when individuals are involved in group activities or discussions, they will learn about communication skills, teamwork abilities, and time management.
In addition
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, only teachers,
instead
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of computers, can address students' learning problems and inspire them to build confidence to face the challenges.
Also
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,
children
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sometimes have questions about their future careers, and suggestions from teachers are much more meaningful than anonymous
Internet
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users. In conclusion, even if the
Internet
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enables people to learn on their own, I believe that
schools
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still play a crucial role in society and are necessary for providing social experiences and guiding mentors.
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task achievement
The essay contains a clear and comprehensive response to the task, effectively disagreeing with the statement that schools are no longer necessary.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly present and summarize your position.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically organized and supported with relevant reasons.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social development
  • fostering communication
  • personalized guidance
  • immediate feedback
  • replicated
  • structured environments
  • discipline
  • time management skills
  • extracurricular activities
  • nurture talents
  • inculcate
  • sense of community
  • shared learning experiences
  • equal access
  • learning opportunities
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