Many poducts that we buy are made in other countries. Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Living in the globalization era pursues local residents to purchase many items that were produced and imported by other nationals.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

may ease them to get international products that do not exist in their countries, it can threaten local producers and I believe that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

advantage outweighs
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
. Buying international goods may ease the local populations to gain the non-existent items that are sold in their markets. Not all local markets sold the commodities needed by their buyers because of the limit of
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
natural resources and technology development.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Indonesians utilize imported smartphones from Europe, Korea, and China which have more advanced technology because these items can not be made by their local human resources.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

transaction gives advantages to Indonesians's lives. On the negative side, buying international products can threaten local producers and can stop the country from creating better human resources.
First,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

international trade can have negative effects on the
locals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's profit costs.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the massive encouragement to purchase international products causes the demand of
locals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to decrease so that the
locals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can not earn high incomes. Not only does it
can
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
threaten the
locals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, but it
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can limit the countries
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
development. Take,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the international smartphones sold in Indonesia can limit Indonesians to think that they can not develop their own technologies to make smartphones for their country. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

buying international
commudities
Correct your spelling
communities
commodities

If you don’t want commudities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

can make people easily gain what they need, I believe that the drawbacks are greatly outweighed by the threat to the local sellers and there will be
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations

It seems that limitation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
to developing countries' technologies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph develops a clear main idea, with supporting details following in logical order.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more linking words or phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
To improve clarity, be precise in language use and avoid ambiguous phrases. Ensure that each argument directly supports the thesis.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to back up each main point, enhancing the persuasive power of the argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and reiterates the writer’s position clearly.
complete response
The essay addresses the task by evaluating both sides of the argument regarding international products.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: