Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Everywhere in the world, the use of technology increased

due to

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the innovations and improvements around the area.

This

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caused some individuals

such

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as office workers and students to work remotely from home because of the less hassle. I do think it is a positive development, as people can learn as many things as possible

while

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having more flexibility in

time

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. Nowadays, the system of online learning has been implemented

due to

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the pandemic happened in 2020.

As a result

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, even after the pandemic ends, some adults and children are still working the remote working conditions. Having to learn things without having additional cost of travel

as well as

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more accessibility to do so, are the reasons why it became popular among most individuals. They can gain the same amount of learning with less effort provided. So,

although

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there are some drawbacks to online working like lack of focus, the advantages of gained resources outweigh those disadvantages.

In addition

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to that, most people tend to choose online systems because they can pick the

time

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to work themselves.

For example

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, a remote worker who has a list of tasks chooses to do it all in the evening so they can hang around during the day.

This

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flexibility can add more leisure

time

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to everyone by simply just doing the right

time

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management. In conclusion, there are many benefits that can be gained from technology by working remotely. People can spend less

time

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and effort doing the same task the regular way.

hnnfh Wed Oct 23 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This could include personal experiences or well-known resources.

task achievement

Work on improving the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Some parts of your essay could benefit from clearer expression and expansion.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance the support for your main points with additional details or evidence. This will make your arguments more compelling.

coherence and cohesion

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your essay well.

task achievement

Your essay effectively conveyed the general idea of remote working and studying as a positive development.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of your essay is coherent, with logical progression between paragraphs.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

remote work
e-learning
accessibility
inclusive
productivity
personalized learning
disciplined routine
interpersonal skills
cybersecurity
sustainability
work-life balance
physical disabilities

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