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Band 5

Although modern life has brought with it improvements in people’s standard of living, people are not generally happy with their lives. Do you agree or disagree?

#life #improvements #people’s #people #lives
There is a huge difference between
life
 now and what
life
 was
few
Change the article
a few
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 years ago.
While
 the modern ways of living
has
Change the verb form
have
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
benefis
Correct your spelling
benefits
, some think people were more happy in the past.
Although
 there have been many gifts of advanced technology which has made a person's
life
 much easier, at the same time it has brought the troll of
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
 depression too.
However
, despite the disadvantages of newer living standards, I believe that the advantages
overweighs
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
show examples
. We have evident so many advancements for our comfort, whether it is for transport, education,
entertainment
Correct word choice
or entertainment
show examples
. All
this
 research
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 made
life
 much more convenient and interesting.
For instance
, if somebody wants to go somewhere, just book an
uber
Capitalize word
Uber
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 or want to watch a movie, just watch it on your phone
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 one click.
Moreover
, students can just attend their classes on phones and laptops rather than going to school. But with all these advancements, there are some challenges which
tags
Correct subject-verb agreement
tag
show examples
 along them. The biggest of all is that people are starting to rely on these advancements. In order
afford
Fix the infinitive
to afford
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 these tools people are doing excessive
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of work and
hence
 it has become a part of modern culture.
This
 leads to work depression which is
major
Add an article
a major
the major
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 source of unhappiness in today's world. I think the newer ways of living are great equipment and can make our lives much more
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
 but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
balance is the key.
Keeping
Change preposition
By keeping
show examples
 the right equilibrium between the use of present-day gifts and past days freedom, one can find the greater living.
Submitted by dineshsingh000016 on

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task achievement
In the introduction, make sure to clearly state your position on the topic. This will help clarify your task response from the start.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to ensure your ideas flow logically from one to another. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and provides a general overview of your position.
logical structure
The essay discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of modern living, showing a balanced approach.
logical structure
Good paragraphing that helps separate different ideas, making the essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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