Some people think that schools should teach students to be more competitive. Others argue that schools should focus on teamwork and collaboration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
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some
people
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maintain that students should be competitive, others contend that
teamwork
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is more important to teach in school. I believe that
teamwork
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is essential to foster social
skills
Punctuation problem
skills,
show examples
while
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being competitive is equally significant to encourage
individuals
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to push their limits.
Teamwork
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helps students foster strong interpersonal relationships and learn how to collaborate effectively with others.
This
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can be done by giving students a challenge
that is
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only solvable in a group.
For instance
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, escape rooms are not only fun, but
also
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teach
individuals
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to work as a team to solve a riddle in a given time frame.
In addition
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, by learning each other's strengths and weaknesses,
people
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can support one another to reach substantial goals.
On the other hand
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,
competition
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encourages
individuals
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to push their limits and strive to achieve more than they would have
otherwise
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.
For example
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, many world records have been set
due to
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people
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pushing each other to greater scores. One instance of
this
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is the strongman competitions, where an athlete reached a deadlift of five hundred kilos, not because of the training effect alone, but because of the will to lift more than their opponents.
This
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same concept can be applied to reaching better grades in school and becoming smarter in the process.
Therefore
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,
competition
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is fundamental for achieving goals beyond one's imagination. In conclusion,
while
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teamwork
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can help
people
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solve problems by working together,
competition
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can increase
individuals
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' motivation and goals.
Therefore
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, teaching both
teamwork
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and
competition
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should be combined and supported equally in schools.

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structure
Make a plan at the start. Say your view then how you will show it.
examples
Give more clear and many examples for each point.
coherence
Link each idea with simple connect words to help flow.
grammar
Use short, clear sentences. Check grammar.
content
Clear stance and good effort to show both sides.
examples
Two good examples used.
structure
Reasonable order of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • competition
  • competitive
  • teamwork
  • team
  • group
  • project
  • task
  • goal
  • effort
  • improve
  • learn
  • skill
  • share
  • listen
  • speak
  • explain
  • respect
  • rules
  • fair
  • feedback
  • support
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balance
  • inclusion
  • collaboration
  • achievement
  • confidence
  • communication
  • problem
  • solution
  • decision
  • plan
  • practice
  • achievement
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