IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, introduce yourself say why are you interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc. Write at least 150 words.

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Dear Mr. Samson, I hope
this
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 email finds you in good health and you are doing well. I am writing
this
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 letter to get some information about your renowned sports
club
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 as I am interested in getting a
membership
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 in
this
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club
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. First of all, I would like to introduce myself.
This
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 is Jony Depp from Ontario and I have been living beside your
club
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 for the
last
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 three years. I heard that there are a lot of state-of-the-art facilities available in
this
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 sports
club
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 including good customer service which makes me comfortable to
making
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make
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 a decision to enroll
membership
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 in
this
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club
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.
Moreover
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, I would like to ask some questions about the
club
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 facilities which will be helpful for me to make a final decision before enrolling in
this
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 sports
club
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.
Firstly
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, what type of
membership
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 packages are currently offering for the potential member?
Secondly
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, what are the annual
membership
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 charges?
Finally
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, please let me know whether any guests are allowed in
this
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club
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. I look forward to hearing from you soon regarding the above-mentioned queries. Yours faithfully, Mike Hayes

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph presents a new idea or question in a clear and focused manner to improve the structuring of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Try starting with 'Dear Manager,' or 'Dear [Sports Club Name] Manager,' if the name is known, and ensure the closing is appropriate to the tone of the letter.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task more fully; provide more detailed information about yourself, the reasons for your interest, and expand on the types of facilities you're most interested in.
task achievement
Maintain a polite and formal tone throughout the letter to match the writing context of a formal inquiry while being careful with personal details to maintain a professional distance.
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