In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #retirement #age #work

There are some advantages and disadvantages of working for a long year and the retirement age has been getting bigger.

For instance

, a company can earn more profit when there are many workers.

However

, old people can easily get tired.

Therefore

this

argument will be helpful in increasing the retirement age or not.

To begin

with, there are some positive things to increasing the elderliness. First of all, companies can increase their profits more because they have many workers even though they are old.

This

means that employees in the company can earn more income than before.

Moreover

, the elderly can earn more money, so that they can live without any problems after they retire from their company.

This

means that old people can live a relaxed life.

On the other hand

, there are some negative things too. Second of all, when people increase their elderly, they might not have enough time to do whatever they want to do.

Such

as travelling to other countries or playing with grandsons and so on.

Additionally

, increasing the number of elderly will be related to their health.

For instance

, using a laptop for a long time will result in bad eyesight.

Moreover

, working for too long hours per day is not good for the body's health. In conclusion, there are some advantages and disadvantages of increasing the elderly.

For example

, they could earn more money, but they might not have enough time to go somewhere else or do the things that they want to do. In my opinion, I think increasing the retirement age has more disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Submitted by dokmally2 on Sat Oct 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider focusing on organizing your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, aiding in a clearer argument presentation.

Task Achievement

Include more specific examples or data to support your points, which will help demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

Clearly link every paragraph to your main thesis stated in the introduction for greater coherence.

Task Response

You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of raising the retirement age, showing good task coverage.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your personal viewpoint based on the body discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
life expectancy
pension systems
financial pressure
economic growth
workforce
retirement savings
skills and knowledge transfer
job opportunities
health challenges
work-life balance
societal resistance
burnout
productivity
well-being

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
In today's very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed. Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications? Explain the reason and provide specific examples to support your answer.
In this essay, I will examine what skills must have a good worker, who want to advance in him career and obtain better position in company. Generally we can saparate social skills and qualifications that are relevant aspects to became a perfect worker, in my opinion social abilities are more important than competences.
5
band
In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, money has become an aspect of a country’s development. With a high amount of pay, some societies argue that it would be beneficial for a nation. Conversely, others ensure that the government should manage the level of the salary. The decision-maker should take an action on this occasion to mitigate the unbalanced salaries of their citizens. In my perspective, there has to be a policy to control the companies for paying their employees.
7.5
band
It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
As the development of technology grows rapidly, electronic devices such as mobile phones and laptops, are more and more common to be seen everywhere. Using technology devices has become a part of human daily living, and it is not surprising that we may see people utilize them in school. While some people disagree with the idea of using electronic devices in the classroom, I believe that technology used in education has more benefits than drawbacks.
7.5
band
You are planning to travel and would like someone to take care of your apartment while you are away. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter •explain why you will be away •ask your friend to take care of your apartment •describe the tasks you want your friend to do Begin your letter as follows: Dear……
Hello! How are you? I hope you and your family are good. I want to ask you something. Actually, it is about to take care of my flat while, I am away. I have to go to Moscow on a layover for three days. In fact, it is not a holiday, you can imagine is like a business travel. Because I started a new job as a cabin crew. I have to stay in Moscow. I will fly from Moscow to all around the world. So, that is why, someone needs to take care of my pets and plants. And, I choose you because you are my best friend and I trust you. Could you help me? If, you are free...
6
band
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. HelShe has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holliday Describe some possible disadvantages Say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer
Hope you are doing well. I am happy to hear that you are going on a holiday and thank you for taking my advice.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In today's very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed. Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications? Explain the reason and provide specific examples to support your answer.

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+