Some people believe that money spent on space research benefits all humanity. Others take the opposite view and say that money for this type of research is wasted. Discuss these 2 opinions / positions

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Space
exploration
plays a significant role in our life.
Although
it could prevent crushes with massive stones, there are other issues which
also
include enormous amounts of
money
. Studies of the universe have significant advantages for our society since we would be able to escape from crashes with subjects
such
as massive stones. Organizations that spend their finances on
space
exploration
provide us with not only safety but
also
a warning If there are any potential dangers.
For instance
, when there were crushes with stones, global organizations acknowledged us as quickly as possible to be located far from the stone.
Thus
,
space
exploration
is
meaningfull
Correct your spelling
meaningful
.
Whereas
the learning field of outer
space
is supportable, there are more serious problems
such
as climate change or a poor continent of Africa, which need a huge amount of
money
, but are not supplied by it.
This
leads to regrets from Inhabitants who want to concentrate on hot topics through which they go in their daily life,
instead
of the
space
.
For example
, studies of the universe involve billions of dollars for equipment,
while
citizens of Africa would remain steadily with the absence of food or healthcare.
Therefore
,
space
explorations could seem a waste of
money
, since there is pressure from citizens. In conclusion,
space
exploration
leads to enormous benefits and keeps us safe from danger, but regrets from people who suffer from several difficulties will not allow us to invest
money
briefly. If we did not have global issues on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Earth, we would invest government finances without guilt in some poor areas.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion
The introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement, which directly addresses both sides of the issue. This will help guide the reader and frame the subsequent arguments.
supported main points
While your ideas are relevant, make sure that your main points are adequately supported with clear and specific examples. For instance, the example regarding warnings about stone crashes could be more detailed and precise.
logical structure
Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases to ensure that arguments are clearly connected and the essay reads more smoothly. For example, phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Additionally' can help link your points better.
introduction conclusion
You have a well-defined structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your argument touches on two significant viewpoints, and you provide reasons and examples to support each side of the argument, which is crucial for task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological breakthroughs
  • satellite communications
  • global perspective
  • immediate needs
  • disproportionate
  • terrestrial technologies
  • pressing issues
  • fundamentally change
  • collective human challenges
  • earth's place within it
  • emergency response systems
  • studying phenomena
What to do next:
Look at other essays: