IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You would like to rent a commercial space for a shop you want to start in a newly built shopping complex. You have decided to write to the market authority about it. Write a letter to the market authority. In your letter, inform what type of space you want to rent say what type of shop you are planning to start ask for the availability and cost of the shop

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Dear Sir or Madam,
This
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 is with reference to your newly built shopping complex near the Town hall and I would like to know some details pertaining to it. I am currently considering renting
a
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apply
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space from your
place
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 to expand our branch network so I am looking for a
place
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 where people can access quickly and conveniently. As the owner of many reputed textile brand ambassadors, I am expecting to open a new branch of Trendy Fashions. Since we have a large customer base for the brands we are selling, we are looking to have a
place
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 where customers feel comfortable. ,
Also
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 we expect to have a location where we can display our products easier for the people passing by.
Hence
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, please let me know if you have a
place
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 which will fit the criteria specified above.
Moreover
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, please let me know the cost of renting the space including all taxes and surcharges. Yours faithfully Alex Turner CEO-Trendy Fashions

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task achievement
Your letter is clear and polite, but ensure to maintain a professional tone throughout and avoid unnecessary phrases.
coherence and cohesion
There are a few sentences that could benefit from clearer structure to enhance understanding. Try to separate different ideas more distinctly.
coherence and cohesion
You included an appropriate greeting and closing, which is important in formal letters.
task achievement
You clearly stated the type of shop you are planning to start and your intentions for the space, which is commendable.
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