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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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As daily necessities are increasing from
time
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 to
time
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, married couples think more
on
Change preposition
about
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 deciding to have a
kid
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. It creates
new
Correct article usage
a new
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phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
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 that the
age
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 gap between
parents
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 and children is more significant than a few decades ago.
This
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 fact contains pros and cons in society. One of the advantages is,
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parents
Correct word choice
that parents
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 can raise and nurture their children in a more stable mental condition as they finish with their egos to pursue their life goals. Before giving birth and raising a
kid
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, adults have more freedom to chase their desires. They do not feel burdened with the huge responsibility to take care of the
kid
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while
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 pursuing their life goals. After fulfilling their dreams, most adults have less sense of curiosity in pursuing their dreams. That makes them more stable once they have a
kid
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, and it is a huge benefit for the child who is raised by mentally-stable
parents
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.
On the other hand
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,
parents
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 may not be that strong physically. Raising a
kid
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 requires so many physical activities that drain a parent's energy.
This
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 happens to both the mother and the father.Some people argue that mothers will take more charge in nurturing the
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kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
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 as they are breastfeeding. But fathers
also
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 play a huge role in physical activities in taking care of the child,
such
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 as playing, changing diapers, taking
bath
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baths
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, and so on. As the
age
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 rises from
time
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 to
time
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, the parent's strength is decreasing and limited.
To conclude
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, in general, the
age
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 difference between
parents
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 and their kids is greater than before. It creates some advantages,
that
Correct quantifier usage
such that
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parents
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 can nurture their kids more stable mentally.
On the other hand
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, there is
also
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 a drawback that the physical condition of the
parents
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 is not as fit as when they are younger. In my personal opinion, the huge
age
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 gap between me and my future
kid
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 is not a serious problem.
Thus
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, I have more responsibility to maintain my body and soul in fit condition.

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task achievement
To enhance task response, you could include more specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate your points. For instance, sharing relevant data or stories about real-life situations would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using transitional phrases more frequently to link your ideas. This will help guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a well-rounded closure to your argument.
task achievement
You have successfully identified key advantages and disadvantages on the topic, demonstrating a good understanding and engagement with the task.
coherence cohesion
Your points are generally well-organized, showing a logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • generation gap
  • intergenerational
  • fulfilling
  • complications
  • stigma
  • judgment
  • advancing age
  • life experience
  • wisdom
  • financial stability
  • opportunity
  • patience
  • maturity
  • relationships
  • communication
  • physical energy
  • social
  • learning
  • understanding
  • age difference
  • older parents
  • risk
  • challenges
  • young children
  • society
  • quality time
  • grandchildren
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