Some people think that media have the right to publish details of people's private lives, while others think it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

In
this
information
era, the
media
tend to share
information
as comprehensively as possible in publishing news, including a
person’s
private
information
. Some people believe that sharing
someone’s
private
information
is the
media
's authorization.
In contrast
, some audiences argue that private
information
published should be limited. It depends on the perspective, but as an
audience
, I believe that sharing a
person’s
private
information
should be restricted. Some people perceive that sharing
someone’s
private
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
is a right for the
media
as it potentially grabs the viewer's attention and credibility. Journalists tend to serve a complete story
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
one’s life, including the untold one.
For instance
, when a news anchor announces an achievement of our badminton athletes, he or she will
also
share about the athlete’s background and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
life story. It shapes the
audience
's perception that
this
source of announcement puts comprehensive
information
that is
related to the achievement. From the viewer’s point of view,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
media
is more credible when they serve the news as thoroughly as possible.
On the other hand
, others believe that sharing a
person’s
private
information
should be strictly controlled since it potentially
disturbed
Wrong verb form
disturbs
show examples
one’s privacy.
Information
that the
audience
receives about
someone’s
private
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
can trigger them to act aggressively, especially those who are obsessed with the person. Through the details about
someone’s
address, they can potentially do something disturbing
such
as stalking or throwing a threat through a mail or gift. Those kinds of acts interrupt the
person’s
privacy, and it is categorized as a crime.
To conclude
, some people believe that publishing
someone’s
private life is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
media
’s right to catch viewer’s attention and elevate their credibility. Meanwhile, others believe that the
media
should be controlled
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
sharing a
person’s
private
information
since it can trigger an
audience
to interfere with the person. In my perspective, the
media
should strictly choose the
information
about
someone’s
personal
information
to preserve the
person’s
privacy.
Submitted by astarindri on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Give more specific and varied examples to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
task achievement
Consider addressing counterarguments more explicitly to provide a balanced view.
introduction conclusion present
The essay opens with a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion nicely wraps up the arguments.
complete response
The essay addresses both views of the debate thoroughly and offers a clear personal opinion.
logical structure
There is a logical flow to the ideas, and the use of linking words like 'for instance' supports coherence throughout the essay.

Your opinion

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