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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many students find it harder to study when they are at the university or college than when they were at school.   Why is this?  What can be done to solve the problem?

#students #study #university #college #school
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In recent years, having access to higher education has become quite common as it has a close relationship with the future life and career of a person. Despite its importance, numerous
students
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 find it harder to focus on studies at
universities
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 than at
school
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. In
this
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 essay, I will delve into the reasons associated with the phenomenon and give some solutions. One primary reason is related to the difference in the
arrangement
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 of
courses
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 between
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school
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schools
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 and
universities
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. At most
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school
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schools
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,
courses
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 take up most daily
time
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 from about 8 am to 6 pm, some even to 9 or 10 pm, which means
students
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 at
school
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 nearly have no
time
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 to do other things except for studying.
By contrast
Linking Words
, everyday
courses
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 at
universities
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 account for only 4 to 6 hours on average and
thus
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 it gives college
students
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 more opportunities to engage in some leisure activities with their friends or roommates. Another underlying cause may lie in regulations and
rules
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 at
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school
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schools
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 and
universities
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. Take dressing code
for example
Linking Words
. At
school
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, there exist serious
rules
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 which generally require
students
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 to wear uniforms in case
that
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apply
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they pay too much attention and compare their fashionable outfits to lead to a waste of studying
time
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.
On the other hand
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,
students
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 are allowed to
dress
Verb problem
wear
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 fashionable clothes and even bizarrs, which may distract them from
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
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.
Although
Linking Words
 the limited
arrangement
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 of
courses
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 and
rules
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 may contribute to the distraction of college
students
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, I firmly believe there are some solutions that can assist them to concentrate on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
 better. From external aspects, some proper advice about how to appropriately arrange free
time
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 should be given by
universities
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, they could invite successful and exceptional graduates to deliver speeches to share their related
experience
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experiences
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.
Linking Words
This
Correct pronoun usage
These
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 is
vulable
Correct your spelling
valuable
 role models for
students
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 to imitate to achieve efficient
time
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arrangement
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. From
internal
Correct article usage
an internal
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aspects
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aspect
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,
students
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 in
universities
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 should seek
for
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apply
show examples
their career path and it can motivate them to make use of their free
time
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 to do more internships to pave their future career path. In conclusion, the reason why many
students
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 find it harder to study when they are at the university or college than when they were at
school
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 is the difference in the
arrangement
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 of
courses
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 and
rules
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 between
between
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and
universities
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.
And in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 order to encourage them to study,
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 and
students
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 should make
joint
Add an article
a joint
show examples
 effort to find exterior and interior motivations.
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task achievement
While your argument is clearly presented, ensure that all points are supported evenly throughout the essay. Try to provide more real-world examples or experiences to strengthen your points further.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between your ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. This will help in making your argument more cohesive.
general
The introduction is clear and effectively sets the stage for the essay. It outlines the problem and suggests a direction for the discussion.
general
Your conclusion summarizes the essay well and reiterates the main points clearly, offering solutions and collective responsibility.
task achievement
There are some good examples, such as comparing the time spent on studies at school versus university, which helps illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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