IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that local authorities should control where building can be constructed. Others thinks that everyone should be free to build where they like without permission. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 opine that local governments have the power to control the construction locations.
However
Linking Words
, others state that the building choice is on our own, and we should be free to build in the areas we like. For me, I think it will be better if we have some limitations, and I will explain why in the following paragraphs. To start with, not every place is suitable for living.
Hence
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, we have to set up some regulations
for protecting
Change preposition
to protect
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from danger.
People
Use synonyms
 may not be aware of that, because we are not academics in earth science.
Therefore
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, we have no idea whether the zone is risky or not. In certain districts, they may encounter some natural disasters
such
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 as typhoons, floods, earthquakes, and so on. If our authority has some laws on it, it may save lives. If
people
Use synonyms
 want to live in the district they want without authorization, the downtown will be very crowded because they all want to live there.
As a result
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, it is not allowed to let it happen, and we have to force
people
Use synonyms
 to live
in particular
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 places. The prices of houses are a good way to stop overpopulation
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because if want to buy a piece of real estate, you need to spend a fortune on it.
This
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 is not cheap, and only the rich
people
Use synonyms
 can afford it. In a nutshell, we can not construct in the area we want, because not every place is ideal for living.
Furthermore
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, housing costs are very expensive, and not everyone can buy a house in urban areas.
Thus
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, we have to impose some rules to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.

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task achievement
To enhance the task achievement score, try to expand on specific examples and scenarios that support each viewpoint discussed. This will strengthen the argument and show good engagement with the prompt.
task achievement
Make sure every main point is fully elaborated. Ensure that each paragraph's main idea is thoroughly explored with relevant details. Adding more examples could enhance the depth of discussion.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by employing more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly from sentence to sentence. Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to maintain a seamless flow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
logical structure
The main points are introduced clearly and are generally easy to follow, reflecting good organization.
task achievement
The structure of the essay parallels the prompt, touching on both views and expressing an opinion, which meets the task requirements.
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