IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
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It is predictable that shortly, individuals avoid buying
paper
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 materials and
instead
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 read them online and for free. I strongly agree with
this
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 approach, and I believe it will happen soon.
To begin
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 with, in contemporary times, everyone has a smart device
such
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 as a mobile phone or tablet.
Therefore
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, they can access a varied range of
books
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, newspapers, and magazines in the blink of an eye. You don’t have to worry about forgetting your
books
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 anymore or bothering yourself to carry them all the time because now you can sort and organize them in files on your laptop or phone. Some specific apps like Ebook help you find your
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 text to read.
For example
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, I use
this
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 app for downloading the latest published
books
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, and in
this
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 way, not only will my time be saved, but I
also
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 don’t have to carry heavy
books
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 around. The second major reason is money. Most of the online
books
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 and newspapers are free or extremely cheap.
On the other hand
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, the price of
paper
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 materials has been increasing dramatically in the
last
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 few years.
Therefore
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, buying
books
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, especially the newest ones is not affordable for plenty of people like university students who need a number of different sources every month.
However
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, some individuals may argue that
paper
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books
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 are more convenient to read.
Moreover
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, using electronic devices can lead to eyesight issues in the long term.
Nevertheless
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, I think all of these problems can be managed if you use the technology in the correct way. In conclusion,
although
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 reading
paper
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books
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 and newspapers feels so natural and doesn’t bring us any health problems, sometimes it is more comfortable to use smart devices for reading which is cost-effective and accessible for anyone no matter where they are.
Submitted by yunhan322 on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the task, further elaboration on certain points or additional counterpoints could enrich the discussion.
task achievement
Some ideas and examples could be developed more clearly to ensure comprehensive coverage of the topic.
task achievement
Consider providing more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining the transitions between different sections to enhance the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the main points are consistently well-supported throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well.
coherence cohesion
Main points are relevant to the topic and largely supported by examples.
task achievement
The response addresses the task effectively, covering major aspects of the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure in presenting the argument that makes it easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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