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Band 6

Some countries achieve international success, building specialised sport facilities for top athletes to train instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Is it positive or negative?

#countries #success #sport #facilities #athletes #train #sports
There is ongoing debate regarding whether authorities should construct professional sports
facilities
 for
athletes
 rather than ordinary
people
.
This
 essay will explore both perspectives and offer a balanced viewpoint. In
this
 fast-paced society, sports competition plays a vital role on the international stage. There are numerous benefits that governments invest in construction for the elite players. One of the significant influences is an increase in training experience. It is widely agreed that successful
athletes
 must frequently train and high training quality can prevent them from injury.
Furthermore
, professional
athletes
 seldom practice in public locations. What is obvious is that private
facilities
 always offer them a place to avoid disturbance from the populace.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 multifaceted problems caused by building the field only for the professional. It is undeniable that the population
also
 has the right to enjoy public
facilities
. If authorities decrease the open area only to support international competition,
people
 will lose the place to exercise, and their health condition could decline.
Moreover
, what is
also
 noteworthy is that public welfare has a strong connection with the support of
people
.
As a consequence
, ignoring the population's needs could result in dissatisfaction with other future policies. In conclusion, it is evident that there are both advantages and drawbacks to constructing professional
facilities
. It is essential for governments to strike a delicate balance between considering the
people
 and enhancing the performance of
athletes
.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion effectively paraphrase the question and clearly state your position. It is also beneficial to outline what will be discussed in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Logical sequencing of ideas is crucial. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to show the relationships between your main points more clearly.
task achievement
To score higher in task achievement, you must extend and support your main points with specific examples and further explanation. This not only shows a deeper understanding of the topic but also allows for a more personalized answer.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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