The graph below shows the number of library books read by bos and girls at Starmourth School from 2006 to the present.

#library #books #bos #girls #starmourth #school

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The given chart provide us with data about how many Starmourth School's

books

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were read by males and females between 2006 and 2012. Looking at an

overall

Linking Words

structure it is readily apparent that both categories experienced a rise within the given timeframe.

Girls

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were dominating over

boys

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in the initial period,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

they reversed their positions with

boys

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in the ultimate period.

Although

Linking Words

the amount of

books

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read by

girls

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accounted for approximately 52 in 2009 and

this

Linking Words

figure nearly doubled at around 100 in 2011, by 2012 the number had dropped to only 80

books

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. The opposite was true for

boys

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in the initial years. They showed lower interest in reading in comparison with

girls

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both in 2009 and 2010, they read 20 and 40

books

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respectively.

However

Linking Words

during the period from 2010 to 2011,

books

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read by

boys

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underwent a significant increase and catched the number of

books

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read by

girls

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- 100. By 2012,

boys

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had taken the lead, reading 140

books

Use synonyms

Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on Wed Oct 30 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, girls, boys with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

165 words

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The graph below shows the number of library books read by bos and girls at Starmourth School from 2006 to the present.

The number of obese children is growing over the past years, some say that parents should be punished for letting their child becoming fat , discuss this and give your opinion

Sports programmes are very popular on television nowadays. Some people argue that those programmes are the reasons for poor health of many young people as the prefer to watch sports rather than partake in them. Do you agree or disagree with this view ?

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial backgorund they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?