Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. PARA 1 Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? Yes up to some extent PARA 2 How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not? Strong healthy relationships peace of mind

In the
last
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decade, many
people
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have widely debated concepts of
success
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. Some
people
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agree that
success
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can often be measured by the amount of money an individual has earned. Personally, I believe that wealth can measure someone’s materialistic
success
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,
however
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, there are other efficient ways to detect it. Many
people
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feel that wealth can be an effective method to measure
success
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,
however
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, I feel that how much money somebody has earned can determine
success
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up to some extent.
People
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who are financially stable,
for instance
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, tend to have luxurious properties and vehicles where only materialistic achievements can be identified.
As a result
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of
this
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, the rich seem to have a social reputation and recognition. The more
people
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have money, the higher their social status is.
Although
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richness might be an indicator of
success
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, there are other alternatives that are effective and efficient. One of the significant measurements is the presence of strong, healthy relationships because they play a crucial role in our lives. If someone has a close bond with their loved ones, it can be considered
as
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an excellent way to reach
success
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.
Consequently
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, life which is full of positive connections, may become rewarding and enjoyable. Our level of peace of mind is another great way to measure anyone’s
success
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.
Due to
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various factors
such
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as stressful work environments,
people
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tend to have less peace of mind these days.
Therefore
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if someone has a friendly and supportive work culture, they are blessed, and it is a great way to achieve
success
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. In conclusion,
this
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essay discussed how wealth measures an individual’s
success
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to some extent. In my opinion,
success
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is not only defined by healthy relationships but
also
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by peace of mind.

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task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully and explore them in depth.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points, making them more convincing.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on wealth as a measure of success.
task achievement
You provide alternative measures of success, which shows critical thinking.
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