Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?

There is no doubt that participating in various sports can maintain individual fitness.
However
, nowadays, there is a noticeable decrease in people exercising their bodies. In
this
essay, I will delve into the cause of
this
trend and
then
discuss potential solutions.
This
phenomenon happens because people are living in a fast-paced work setting.
For instance
, a startup employee can spend time in their office around ten to fourteen hours.
Moreover
, current jobs are not physically demanding. A good case in point is software engineers who only require computers to work on their projects.
At the end
of the day, these
employees
are not having enough time to do exercise especially when the distance to the gym is quite far. Examining the idea of encouraging people through public facilities,
this
idea relies on offering efficiency to the
employees
. The government or private companies can construct in-office fitness venues,
consequently
,
employees
can shorten their travel time to the gym by utilizing these facilities.
Moreover
, institutions can benefit from
this
initiative because it increases productivity by lowering the number of sick leave conducted by
employees
.
Additionally
, these facilities can be integrated with health-related advertisements.
This
type of public campaign can be utilized to convey messages related to both financial and health risks associated with unhealthy lifestyles.
For example
, crafting a campaign that emphasizes the high cost of health treatments. At its core, the government or private entities are the ones that are most responsible for executing these initiatives and
also
benefit the most from them.
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task achievement
It would enhance the essay to provide additional examples of young people being influenced by fast-paced lifestyles, not just specific to employees but students as well.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly distinguish between solutions targeted at young employees versus solutions targeted at students or non-working youth for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve flow and connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion needs to be more than a summary. Consider suggesting what might happen if these solutions are implemented or not implemented.
task achievement
The essay clearly outlines the current problem of reduced sports participation among the youth and provides logical reasoning related to modern work culture.
task achievement
Includes plausible solutions with realistic applications like in-office fitness venues and health campaigns.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and discusses the issue and solutions in distinct paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • engagement
  • incentives
  • obesity
  • recreation
  • well-being
  • peer pressure
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • balance
  • teamwork
  • coordination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • discipline
  • facilities
  • accessible
  • affordable
  • curriculum
  • extracurricular
  • inclusion
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